Daily Debate: What Wild Kinds of Hyrulean Fireworks Would You Want to Set Off?
Posted on July 04 2021 by Emi Curtis
A wise man once said, “You’re gonna stand there, ownin’ a fireworks stand, and tell me you don’t have no whistlin’ bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, donkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker don’ts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistlin’ kitty chaser?” Well, actually that’s just from Joe Dirt, but there’s a point there somewhere. American Independence Day is about a lot of things. A wildly unlikely victory against an empirical juggernaut, the institutions of what the American Dream is built on, recognizing the incredible sacrifices made for those to live comfortably, the history of American promise and struggle, and fireworks. Lots and lots of fireworks. The United States lights off a devastating 404 million pounds of fireworks each year, the vast majority of which are during the week of Independence Day. Unfortunately for some this year, many states have opted to temporarily prohibit firework launching due to the high risk of wild fires, which means it’s time to get into our imagination; our Zelda imagination.
Anyone who’s been to some sort of summertime cookout has no doubt experienced at least a handful of the numerous kinds of weird sorts of fireworks there are available for sale. They run the gamut of everything from spinning wicks that act like burning jump-ropes to literal balls of explosives that just… explode uncontrollably. It’s incredible all the different things one can do with gunpowder, but imagine what you could do if you had gunpowder and magic and Sheikah technology? Imagine the Two Bombs Sheikah Shrine, but as an elaborate fireworks display. The possibilities are insane what you could manage to pull off when you can pull literal miracles.
Why even stop at just Breath of the Wild? Picture a giant field of enchanted bottle rockets that you light off simultaneously with the Fire Medallion. Why not slap a ton of sparklers to the Spinner from Twilight Princess and have the most terrifying ride of your life? You could even put on the Magic Armor from The Wind Waker and ride a rocket like you’re Wile E. Coyote or something. The amounts of irresponsible recklessness one could engage in is endless. That’s the beauty of imagination and all.
So what would your crazy Hyrulean firework product or stunt be? What wild ways would you make use of Link’s arsenal to celebrate? Let us know in the comments below!
Featured Image: shuri
Emi Curtis is an associate editor with Zelda Dungeon, having originally joined the team in late 2020. She is a freelance artist, programmer, and streamer with a healthy love of both the creative and analytical. She can frequently be found playing RPGs and Adventure games, her favorite of which being The Wind Waker. She is also quite fond of playing Zelda Randomizers. Currently, she hosts a tabletop RPG series on Twitch and operates a freelance illustration business. She can be found on Twitter and Twitch as her VTuber alter-ego Gwen Myoty, creating nerdy artwork, dungeon mastering tabletop games, and playing RPGs.
