Posted on February 15 2019 by Matt Pederberg
He came into the shop again. Why does he have to come here so often? Sometimes, it’s all I can do to stop myself from — It would be easier if he wasn’t so handsome… I wish I could speak to him as eloquently as I can to you:
His deep, mysterious eyes enfold me,
In the way I fantasize his arms would,
The glittering blue gaze setting me free,
I feel his silence is misunderstood.
He can protect me with sword and shield,
And gently caress me with working hands.
His hair dances like a golden wheat field,
With a smell that comes from tilling the lands.
He’s rough and tumble, like my inner soul,
His thoughts are secret, unknown to the world.
He would be the key to my heart’s key hole,
And allow feelings for him to unfurl.
Some day my courage will push me to tell
How his presence causes my heart to swell.
I made a complete fool of myself today. I called him “sweetheart!” I thought I was being subtle but his whole beautiful face lit up like an autumn fire. I was so embarrassed that I had to call it quits. He came back in with me and started looking around. I was about to say something when Purdy ruined everything! I was going to say something sweet and telling when that old crow exclaimed “She’s OLD! Very OLD!” I swear, I was ready to kill her!
O, whose heart didst thou catch? Do not be shy!
‘Twas mine, and I offer it, yours to keep!
I give it you freely, no need to buy,
I think of it oft’ when drifting to sleep.
If you took mine heart, miss it I would not,
For gently you’d hold it, sweetly caress’d
In your humble hands, I’m certainly caught,
With you in my life, I’m overly bless’d.
Pull me in close, like a fisherman’s reel,
Wrap me in your arms and never let go,
I’ll never escape, like a wrig’ly eel.
But if you cast me off, you’ll feel my woe.
Tarry not to the scorn’d words of Purdy.
Next time she speaks, I’ll murder that berdie!
He didn’t come in today. It was the first time in a week that I didn’t see him. I hope I didn’t scare him away by calling him “sweetheart,” or maybe my dumb bird scared him off. I’m really not that old!
Where could you be, my knight in green armor?
It is long since last I saw your visage.
Your simple ways are bright like a farmer,
I’m sure those rough hands give quite a massage!
These few empty days, like eternity.
When will you return to show yourself off?
I’ll take you away, rowing aimlessly,
Quietly though, don’t laugh and do not scoff!
Wish you were here, in my boat beside me.
I’d show you the waters, clearer than clear,
And sail ourselves out beneath the old tree.
Straight as an arrow now, back to the pier.
There we would wait, in the surrounding bliss.
There I would lean in, and give thou a kiss!
He was a real jerk today. He hasn’t been coming in as often. Something intense must be happening in his life right now. He wouldn’t stop trying to get at my jars. I eventually had to tell him to “Get OUT!” I felt so terrible, but I couldn’t let him break all my stuff! I’m just so mad!!! I don’t think I can write any poetry tonight.
He just came back in after I told him to scram. He was very sheepish but I was still so angry with him. I just looked at him like “…What?”
Then he just came over to me and put his hand on mine. I thought my heart was going to explode. He looked into my eyes and he apologized. I tried to play it cool, like a Hylian pike, but I was barely able to mumble out “Fine. Apology accepted.” Why does he make my legs shake so? I wanted to say something more intelligent… like:
If saying sorry solved everything,
The Hylian soldiers would have no jobs.
Gods and goddesses, we’d stop worshiping,
And no more apology fish kabobs!
Sorry’s just a word, it means nothing more
Than a simple sweet nothing in my ear.
Still, the way he said it shook my heart’s core,
And taking my hand, my heart said “Here here!”
So when he leaned in and said “I’m sorry,”
I was not sure if he could be trusted.
I don’t fully know all of his story,
But to his loving soul, I’m now adjusted.
An eloquent response was expected.
Instead, “Fine. Apology accepted.”
He looked at all my photos today. When he was looking at the one with my first Hylian pike, I wowed him with my humor. I said “Yeah, lots of folks tell me this picture is really cure… ‘Cause it catches the pike’s good side.” Although he didn’t laugh out loud, I could tell he was tickled on the inside. Next he looked at the one of Iza. He payed a lot of attention to it. I wondered if that’s where he’s been spending all his affections lately. If so, he has WEIRD taste. Next, he lingered a long while on the one with my Hyrule bass, so I asked which he thought was cuter, me or Iza. He said me!
Photos and photos, hanging on the walls.
Treasured are all, family and achievements.
Of beautiful spots, trees and waterfalls.
Some capturing moments of bereavements…
Though one in particular, caref’lly hung,
Caught the eye of a sprightly, handsome man.
Though old in experience, he was young,
And ever so sweet. Here’s where it began.
I asked if he liked it, simply put,
He said it was cute, much cuter than most.
Inside I agreed, and thanked his input.
I moved in a little bit, speaking quite close.
“Forgive me if this sounds a bit sappy:
If you’re just being nice, I’m still happy!”
He’s amazing! An absolutely legendary fisherman! He brought in a Hylian loach! Can you believe it? I nearly cried for joy when I saw it! He must have read my copy of The Legend of the Hylian Loach: Twilight Fish while I wasn’t looking! Dearie me I love a man who appreciates literature! Thanks to his gorgeous face I finally have one of every type of fish for my aquarium. I was so excited, I asked him out on a private boat ride in my little two seater, the one that’s for me and my boyfriend, and nobody else! He said yes!
The Hylian loach, quiet and adverse,
Deep ‘neath the lily pads is where it lurks.
No one could catch one, they’d shout and they’d curse,
You have to be smart. Only cunning works!
When I first saw the legendary fish
Held by the equally legendary man,
I stole a picture. It’s all that I wish
To have both in one spot in one lifespan.
“Thou likest that? ‘Tis a good picture, yes?
In secret, it’s tweak’d, but notice he not,
I made it look bigger, I do confess.
But how to resist? This photo is hot!
I’ll look when he’s gone, never shall I blink.
Three cheers for the master fisherman, Link!
Matt Pederberg is part of the Zelda Dungeon Writing Team. His first and only love is sailing the Great Sea (but don’t tell my wife!) He doesn’t have any social media because he is pretty inept at it…