I love you SOOO much for making this thread!
Chuck Norris doesn't own a house. He goes into a house and people move out.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also smell hope, as in "I hope Chuck Norris doesn't roundhouse kick me!"
Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes, Chuck Norris has 76, and they're all poisonous.
Google won't search for Chuck Norris cause it knows you can't find Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris finds you.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris did infact build Rome in a day.
If Chuck Norris stood infront of a scouter, it would read up to infinite, twice.
Chuck Norris does not get frost bite, Chuck Norris bites frost.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack, his heart is no where near stupid enough to attack him.
Aliens do indeed exist, they just know better than to visit a planet inhabited by Chuck Norris.
When Bruce Banner gets mad he becomes The Hulk, when Hulk gets mad he becomes Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris built a time machine to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris deflected them with his beard. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.