- May 6, 2012
- Sydney, Australia
I could. If I had to talk I'd rather talk to my mom. But I hate confrontations or anything tough to talk about like that. So I'd rather write it, because then I can clearly express everything without getting interrupted by either my dad or by my own emotions spilling over. It'd probably be better to talk it out, but I just, I'm not good at talking. I mean I can socialize, but debating or confrontation or anything like that I get quiet and stuff. And then the other person talks the whole time.
Once you’ve had a chance to gather your thoughts and get them down I hope it helps you to be able to convey them to your parents in the way you’re most comfortable. Then once they know how you feel hopefully that will allow them to approach you with better understanding when you are ready to discuss it verbally.
Communication between parents and their kids can be really difficult when you’re both coming with different ways of looking at the world and different ways of thinking which is a pretty common difficulty people have faced for a very long time. Without knowing a whole lot of detail on your specific relationship with your parents and how they are to you I think it seems (from the way you are writing your posts above) that you know that they care about you and aren’t trying to upset you or make you feel the way you are feeling so getting it out in the air can help you work toward a better understanding of each other.
Reflecting back on when I was a teenager I think that many times both parents and children don’t feel heard or understood. I think it’ll go a long way to go into any conversation letting your parents know that you’re willing to listen to and consider how they are feeling and thinking and at the same time you’d appreciate if they also listen to you and consider your feelings too. Try your best not to interrupt them while they are speaking and ask that they do the same for you, it’ll be a good way for you to practice this kind of communication too once you’re ready for it.
This is just an example and may or may not necessarily apply to your situation but it could be that the meaning behind the remarks your father is making is that he wishes you spent more time with them. Finding common interests with your parents can be hard but if you sit together and figure something out you can bond over that could help. Though at the same time your parents should respect your personal interests/hobbies and your time to enjoy them, they don’t necessarily have to “get” or understand your hobbies - parents very often don’t understand your hobbies (or at least aren’t interested in them) just like you may not get some of theirs.