Shadsie
Sage of Tales
I wish I was more confident and knew my value in life - that I had a value. I wish I didn't have all these weird existential fears that I am holding the world back in some way, that I'm a throwaway person that would have been nixed before birth by eugenics or something in a perfectly-programmed world. I wish I didn't fear that everything I do is wrong and that my existence is a scar on reality.
I'm depressed right now, but the thing is, I worry about these things sometimes when I'm feeling alright - particularly when I'm creating something new, writing a new story and whatnot. I not only wonder if whatever I'm working on will be any good, literary-wise, I worry that my ideas might actually be harming the world because they come out of a hopelessly superstitious and crazy brain.
If I really do have nothing good to give the world, I wish my survival instincts would fail, but they haven't yet.
I'm depressed right now, but the thing is, I worry about these things sometimes when I'm feeling alright - particularly when I'm creating something new, writing a new story and whatnot. I not only wonder if whatever I'm working on will be any good, literary-wise, I worry that my ideas might actually be harming the world because they come out of a hopelessly superstitious and crazy brain.
If I really do have nothing good to give the world, I wish my survival instincts would fail, but they haven't yet.