Answer: "Friendship", you say? Nothing is as fake as a facade of archaic smiles donned by two or more individuals. A true camaraderie is as nonexistant as a talking dog, they only appear in popular medias, which we all know are congested with lies. Who is one to assume that everything is true? Who is gullible enough to believe in such uncertain aspect of life? Admit it, all of you have always wondered what would happen should you strike your friend sitting right next to you out of the white. Long story short, friendship is to be shattered every given moment from your side rather than the other(s) so as to lessen the melancholy on your side.
Question: Someone wants me dead, and that person is looking through her scope right now to snipe my frontal lobe out of my cranium. I have a pencil, an eraser, a paper, and a paperclip on my desk. Tell me how to MacGyver out of the situation.