Probably all worked up over nothing, but I just had a conversation earlier that reminded me that they cut art programs when I was in middle and high school.
Besides that being a general tragedy, it hit me hard at the time in ways I never even thought, being young and naive. See, my city has a really good international college of the arts, and that was my dream college growing up. But because they cut the art programs for the public school systems while I was in school, that took away a potential scholorship pathway that there used to be.
This is definitely my own fault, because I could have been using my spare time to make art for a portfolio, but I do blame the cutting of arts for leaving me with no motivation to craft a portfolio. Being in art classes would have given me structure to actually get it done, whereas without real assignments my lazy nature was bound to take over. Leaving High School I had nothing close to a portfolio ready.
Besides all that, the price to get into the college I wanted to attend was insane so I would have needed student loans, and to have been ok with massive debt for a majority of my adult life, and I wasn't keen on that scenario.
So yeah, my dream was ruined and never had a chance to flourish. It's only within the last two years that I'd say my life is maybe getting on the track I want it to be on. I just didn't ever imagine I'd be almost 30 and not set into a real career yet...