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Zelda Art Sheikah Santuary: (Prologe Part 1)

Luigidude64

Suzune Supporter
Joined
Apr 17, 2011
As the sun rose to begin it's route across the violet sky, the large iron bell at the top of the Great Tree of Life was ringing loud as ever. "Ugh, can't they wait till like, later?" a young girl asked,
"No, Nyrhea, you know that we always have a ceramony for the Goddesses every first day of every month, remember?" a young man replied
"Yeah, but does the stupid bell have to be made out of Goron Iron? I mean, can't they replace it with a stone version?" Nyrhea asked

"Nyrhea, you do this every single time, just grow up and get with the program." he said, trying to sound calm. Nyrhea was a 17 year old girl living an old abandoned stone mansion that was almost near the base of Death Mountain, the middle of Hyrule and the largest land form created by the Goddess "Din". Her older, and more responsible brother Haibi, was almost 20, he was a bit dull and almost never broke any laws or rules. . .Nyrhea on the other hand was the exact opposite of him, she skipped chores, skipped classes, and did pretty much whatever she wanted. As the two siblings made their way to the ceramonies, a young boy, about 10 years old was walking infront of them, his arm were full of banners, flags, and a circular wooden box.

The container had many designs and Hylian writing all over it, the boy who was carrying it was villages See'ers much younger brother, Cable. He had a country acent' and had freckels all over his face. by the time the bell became silent again, Nyrhea, Haibi and Cable were making their way to the top of the stage, infront of the Sacred Tree of Life, the Tree, was 6 times the size of the Great Deku Tree and had broader branches, it was in the semi-middle of the village and was where the Elders lived.

"Thankyou everyone for coming to participate in todays anual 'Goddess Fevtival" an elderly man in golden robes and a staff of oak stood not 4 feet tall, he was hunched over but had a loud booming voice. "Today, is belived to be the very day that the beautiful Goddesses: Din, Nayru, Farore and Veran created the land we live in, however, today is also the day that Hylians and Humans were separated, and it is al. . ." he stopped suddenly as a teenage boy yelled

"Yeah, Yeah we've heard this over a million times already, just hurry up and finish talkin ya old air-bag!" The elderly man just stood there, staring at the rude delinquent with an evil look in his eye, finaly he said
"Young man, if you hope to be the "Hero" this year, thats not going to happen, this year, we are going to open the "Curtain of Realms" in hopes that a Human will be willing to take on this responsibility. . . . .


Not much of a cliff-hanger, but it works. I've had this idea for a long time, I decided to "rethink" my original fan fiction, so here yall go!
 
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Ganondork

goo
Joined
Nov 12, 2010
Alright, the concept was good, and the writing was decent. It was overall an alright venture. However, you described the sky more than you described the area. It's more important to highlight the pavilion more than the sky in sunset.

Another thing that bugged me was you had a large mass of text, you need to utilize the enter button more. Remember that you start a new paragraph when you want to do a new thought. You also cannot have multiple people talking in the same paragraph. Do something like this:
"This is boring, mother! Can't we do something else?" I complained.

"No, I'm busy with this right now." She replied.

It looks better, and much less daunting to the readers when they first glance at the story. Not to mention it helps me understand what's going on more. I sometimes had no clue who was talking at a certain time.
 

Luigidude64

Suzune Supporter
Joined
Apr 17, 2011
Thanks, just edited it, looks a tad better could use more work, but thanks for tellin me.
 

Luigidude64

Suzune Supporter
Joined
Apr 17, 2011
Ok, for those of you who read this, it's not that cool but, i'm still going to accept other characters. So yeah (For anyone who knows how to configure your siggy, can you please teach me?)


Name : (first and last)
Age : (3-92 yrs old)
Race : (Rito, Gerudo, Zora, Hylian, ect.)
Eye : (the color)
Hair : (the color)
Gender : (Needed)
Backstory : (if possible)
Weaponry : (sword, bow, boomerang, magic spells, ect.)
Personality : (kind, rude ect.)
Notes : (Sheikah elder, Sage, Main character (need 5 more excluding villans) Villans (1 more)
Humans(4 more) and any other extras you want to post, there will also be other sages I need, i'll post the entire list later
 
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Ganondork

goo
Joined
Nov 12, 2010
I'll take a whack at this.

Name: Icaro
age: 25
Race: Sheikah
Eye: Green
Hair: Black
Back story: Doesn't remember most of his life, and fell into a life outside of society
Weaponry: Magic Spells, and a large hammer.
Personality: Rude, indifferent and sarcastic. Will act cruel even to people with a higher ranking than him
Notes: Villain
 
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Luigidude64

Suzune Supporter
Joined
Apr 17, 2011
hmm, pretty good man! I might add a bit more to him cuz he seems a little dull. . . Oh! and the villans can only be Twili or Sheikah.
 

amaterasu

Writer
Joined
May 21, 2011
Location
FL, USA
Gender
Female
dude i wanna be the sage of water

Name : Amaterasu Ziegfeld
Age : 15
Race : Zora
Eye : Dark Brown
Hair : none, but this needs to be added, her skin has the normal Zora color, only a few shades darker.
Backstory : Amaterasu hatched late and was shunned by the other Zora for being darker than the others. When she was 13 she left Zora's Domain and ran into Link in Hyrule Field. She went on some adventures with him, but was unable to help in the final battle with Ganon. So, she continued to roam Hyrule.
Weaponry : Bow and arrow, Zora Boomerangs
Personality : Sarcastic
Notes : Sage of Water
 

Luigidude64

Suzune Supporter
Joined
Apr 17, 2011
Ok, here is the list of Sages and Sheikah elders I need, It would be really awsome if you guys signed up for anyone of these, and you can only sign-up twice. . .

Sage of Light
Sage of Forest
Sage of Fire: Kailyn Lee
Sage of Water: Amaterasu
Sage of Spirit: LinkNerd09
Sage of Shadow: DracoMajora
Sage of Wisdom
Sage of Power
Sage of Courage
Sage of Wind: Molgera2
Sage of Earth: TheOtherNavi

Din's Patron(has triforce of power)
Nayru's Patrons: Luigidude64
Farore's Patron(has triforce of courage)
Veran's Patron: Atsuma

Elder of Zoran(has to be a Zora)
Elder of Geruden: GerudoGirl
Elder of Gorok: DracoMajora
Elder of Hyliath: LinkNerd09
Elder of Sheikth: Atsuma
Elder of Dekoe(has to be Kokiri)
Elder of All(I call this one, sorry)
 
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Kirino

Tatakae
Joined
Jun 19, 2010
Location
USA
Name: Soren
age: 22
Race: Sheikah
Eye: Red
Hair: Black
Back story: Grew up on the streets and was made fun of.
Weaponry: A sword with a black handle and can teleport.
Personality: Kind and can be a bit arrogant sometimes. Thinks most rich people are snobby and cheap, and doesn't have faith in the royal family.
Notes: Sage of Shadow
 

Luigidude64

Suzune Supporter
Joined
Apr 17, 2011
yup, looks good so far, um Dracomajora? I think i might have to add alot of stuff to your character, he just seems. . . dull I guess
 

Luigidude64

Suzune Supporter
Joined
Apr 17, 2011
Sheikah Santuary: (The Curtain of Realms Part 1.)

A few minutes after the elderly man finished his fairly short speach, the festivities were postponed till the next day, meanning that classes would still resume throughout the day after all. . ."Shoot!. . . I can't belive that I have to wait till tomarrow to do nothing. . ." Nyrhea exclaimed, sounding both paranoid and sad. . .

"What're you talking about?! You do nothing 24/7 anyway, why should this change anything?" Haibi asked "Because, I was finally going to be with Soren, on a real date." she replied with a gloomy fell to her voice. "Soren? You're dating Soren?! He's rude and impossible to talk to, I can't even get him to say "yes" or "no"!" Haibi stated, "Only because you're too strict. . . I mean old, you don't know how to talk to him like I do, and he's not rude, he kind and considerate!" She said, her face was getting flushed, and her voice was switching tones as she spoke, she could feel the rage and anger twords her brother, building up like a bon-fire, getting bigger and larger, consuming everything in her mind. . . as Haibi opened his mouth to say something, Nyrhea instantly yanked an apple out of a girls hand that was walking by them, and shoved the thing straight into his mouth, but he moved his head and she accidently threw the ruby red apple at cable, who had his back turned and was unaware of the incoming ambush. . .And again, the day was saved when "Shoin-take" a scholar, learning about becoming an elder, merely tapped the apple and it exploded into a quadrillion little grains. . .

"You should be carefull where you throw foreign fruit, no-one know who it'll hit." Shoin said, sounding magnificent and full of wisdom as he spoke."Try to keep your throwing at a minimum, ok?" he said still sounding more important than everyone else, he was selfish, talked about nothing but how he was going to be one of the next Elders, and how much less everyone else is needed. . . "Ugh, why does he do that? How does he do that, he makes me so sick when he does his little "Explosoin Trick" Nyrhea said, with a bit of sarcasticness on the edge of her words. "Ahhh, just get used to it, I did, and look how far i've gotten!" Haibi said, trying to make her feel up to "Parr" again, "Yeah, but this is different." she said, "How??" Haibi asked, wondering what she was scheeming, "You needed to get used to him, heh, you had Four Years to practice and prepare, thats more than I can stand." Nyrhea said, sounding solem again. "You know what you need?" Haibi said, "Oh, great, another one of your "Master Plans", oh gosh I wonder what you'll do next. . ."
 
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Kirino

Tatakae
Joined
Jun 19, 2010
Location
USA
yup, looks good so far, um Dracomajora? I think i might have to add alot of stuff to your character, he just seems. . . dull I guess
That's cool. It was sorta hard for me to come up with a good description. Anyways, nice fanfic. Really liking it so far.
 

Luigidude64

Suzune Supporter
Joined
Apr 17, 2011
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Yay, gonna start the adventure soon so start postin people(Elders, Sages, villans, ect.)

Sheikah Santuary: (The Curtain of Realms Part 2.)

As they walked down the path leading out of the village and into the Grove of Spirits, Haibi and Nyrhea were probably the only one who had visited that part of the Shadwan Province in over 160 years, "Haibi, why are we going into the woods, you know it's safer during the day, don't you?" Nyrhea said, sounding almost petrified, "Yes, I know it's safer during the day, but you can only see what i'm going to show you at night."Haibi said, sounding a tad cryptic, as soon as Haibi said that, Nyrhea became a little hesitant, and ended up with a an extreamly concerned look on her face. "Um, who or what are we going to visit? she asked accusingly, "Do you have to know everything that's going on every single second of every single day?" Haibi replied, with a sense of frustrasion, "Yes, I do, it's my job to know "everything", and don't you think you're being more repeatative than usual?" she stated, replying to a qestion and asking a question at the same time. . .

Walking down the lonely path in the forest with the sun almost dissapearing behind the horizon made Nyrhea feel, a sense of fright, she hed never felt this way ever since her parents were murdered thirteen years ago in a Gerudo raid, since then, Haibis has been the one looking out for her and making sure she was safe. What was weird though, was that usualy there were a few boko-blins or keese or some kind of mind-less, easily defeated creature hanging about the forest at night, now, there were none, like they had all been wiped out, of course, this is wonderfull news due to the fact that monsters won't be sneaking into the village and taking food, water, weapons, and even children. then all of a sudden, she noticed something in the distance, it was fairly far away so she couldn't make out what it was, it had moved a bit, that's how she saw it, but. . . "Haibi,. . ." she finally said, "Yeah?" Haibi said, almost jumping when she said his name, "Do you see that. . . Person in the distance?" she asked, sounding a bit scared, "Uh, no, I don't. . ." he then opened his bag, that he brought everywhere with him, and pulled out a small knife, and two bottles of something that looked like luiquid fire, it was a bright yellow that glowed, it had many different shade of yellow, orange, and red. . .

"What's in those bottles?" Nyrhea asked, "Something I got in Kakariko Village,."he said, "WHAT!!!! When did you go to Kakariko Village? Why didn't you tell me!! Why didn't you take me?!" Nyrhea yelled, frustration surounding her mind agian, "Because, you always embarass yourself, and you alway end-up buying stupid earings and other jewlry we don't need!" he said, trying not to yell, "Hey, I bought stuff worn by Royalty! And yes we do need all that "stupid" jewlry becau. . ." Nyrhea turned to see Haibi staring at something down the path infront of them, she turned to look forward and it was there, the thing she saw earlier, it wasn't anything she had seen before, not even in any of the books in the Library of Wong-Shi-Tong, It was of average build, not very tall, it had long, flowing black hair, bright, and glowing emerald eyes, she stood there staring at that. . . Thing. . .She wondered what It would look like in the sun light, but she didn't really want to know, she blinked once and as soon as it was there,. . .It had vanished in a swirl of sand and leaves. . ."Is tha. . . Is that. . .Is that what you saw before, Nyrhea?" Haibi studdered, "I, I don't, know. . ."

They stood there, waiting to see if "It" would return, but it didn't, for now. . .

(SPOILER) Wong-Shi_tongs Library is from the animated series "Avatar: The Last Airbender" this came before the movie though. . .

The night grew more darker than ever before, the two twins, Haibi and Nyrhea were still walking in the woods, "There it is!" Haibi exclaimed, "What?!" Nyrhea asked, keeping herself from screaming, "There, up ahead!" haibi replied quickly, in front of them, not too far away was (from what Nyrhea could see) was a statue, sitting in a small crearing, "you brought me into the woods, to get lost, and to see a freaky little creature, and the reason why was to go see a stupid statue, What the heck's wrong with you?!" Nyrhea said, becoming paranoid at the fact that she thought her brother was "One plum short of a Fruit Pie". . . "Let's get closer, you'll see it better." Haibi assured her, when they finally got to the clearing, it was actually a fairly large grove, there were many fire-flies and pink healing fairys fluttering about, and in the middle was a meidium sized fountain, the statue was in the middle, with water pouring out of pink portal it its hands. It was a "Fairy Fountain" it was said that Great Beings of love and happiness resided within the many pools of healing water, that were spread through-out Hyrule and the lands surrounding it.

"It's, so. . . Pretty," Nyrhea suddenly said, "More like beautiful, the statue in the middle was dedicated to the Queen Fairy, "Minaye" she was actually one of the regular healing fairys, but she accuired so much more magic from the Goddesses, that the former Fairy Queen had to resign." Haibi stated "Oh, that's too bad, I thought that the portal to the fairy world was in the middle of the fountain, but there's a stone statue. . ." Nyrhea said, saddness filling her words, "The Relic in the middle was built after she left to live in the "Sheikah Santuary". . ." Haibi replied, his tone also fadding to sorrow, " The Sheikah Santuary, i've. . . Never heard of that place. . . Is it in Hyrule?" she questioned, "I'll explain it more later, take this bottle and catch a fairy inside, then we can start heading home. . ." haibi commanded, "Ugh, can't we just buy one?" Nyrhea asked, hoping to leave soon, "Nyrhea, we don't have enough rupees, just grab it and go," He said, "Uh, last time I checked we over two-hundred thousand, fifty-six hundred and twenty-nine silver ruppees. . ." Nyrhea said, sounding so elagant, and smart the she had remembered how much they had saved up, "Ah, ok, fine have it your way, but tomarrow buy just the fairy ok? he said. . . Hoping that she would follow his intructions. . .


Ok, it's ok so far, but could use a little more work, so I hope everone will start posting characters soon, becase the adventure's gonna start in like, 3 more chapters (hopefully)

Ok, the second main bad guy is Veran, Sorceress of Shadows, who once was Veran, Oracle of Seals (not the animal) and I still need a few more baddies, so far :Vaati, Icarone', Veran,) and I need alot more Sages and Elders, you've got plenty'o time so, and if no one want to, i've got a few of my own, but they're dull and I don't feel like using them, so start posting them characters!!
 
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molgera2

The Desert-Dwelling Beast
Joined
Jun 24, 2011
Location
The Wind Temple
Name: Draco
Age: 20
Race:Hylian
Eye:blue
Hair:black with four red streaks
Gender:man
Backstory:Grew up on the streets of hyrule castle after his parents died
Weaponry:2 very light swords,a bow and arrow,magic,bombs, and the ability to teleport
Personality:arrogant most of the time,but deep down he is very courageous and will always stick up for his friends.dislikes gorons because they killed his parents
Notes:Sage of Wind
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Writing another FanFic Guys! But I need ideas! Post ideas for characters and a storyline here ---> here!

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Be who you truly are, even if you're a contradiction. ~ amaterasu (me)

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