Random Things Bob Says While Playing LoZ Games

[Shadsie]

As some of you may or may not know, I have a significant other named Bob. He has a bizarre sense of humor. It seems, also, that I have recently infected him with the Zelda-virus. After a long and arduous quest, he finally beat Twilight Princess. I coaxed him into trying a bit of Ocarina of Time this evening.

Now, he said a lot of weird things while playing TP, but I didn't have the prescence of mind to write any of it down and I don't remember it, other than the "squirrel joke" and some of the "lines" he gave Coro (something about a genie living in the Lantern and the "special grass")... I decided not to make that mistake again.

I actually *wrote down* some of the things he said while playing OoT, running around Kokiri Village.

Random Things Bob Says While Playing Ocarina of Time

Upon meeting Navi -- "Great, now I have to buy Friskies Fairy Food... and clean a litter box."

Upon meeting Saria and her fairy -- "Now the tennis balls are mating."

To the girl at the store -- "I need a book on How to Breed Your Fairy in 12 Easy Steps.

Step 1: Crazy glue.
Step 2: Nail gun.
Step 3: Clothespin to hold the wings together
Step 4: Louisville slugger... "

Upon getting a closeup view of a random Kokiri girl -- "Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, aren't they? With pieces of cake for hands..."

________________________

If he keeps up with the game and I am watching with my notebook handy, I'm sure to catch more weirdness to update this thread with.

I hope it amuses.

 

[The Skull Kid]

haha nice...next time i play Oot ill be thinking about this

 

[PhantomTriforce]

I don't get it...am I missing something?

 

[DuckNoises]

To the girl at the store -- "I need a book on How to Breed Your Fairy in 12 Easy Steps.

Step 1: Crazy glue.
Step 2: Nail gun.
Step 3: Clothespin to hold the wings together
Step 4: Louisville slugger... "

Upon getting a closeup view of a random Kokiri girl -- "Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, aren't they? With pieces of cake for hands..."

While I'm intrigued with his step-by-step guide, I see some potential problems with it. Now, I don't claim to be an expert on fairy mating behaviour (despite what my business card says), but wouldn't crazy glue and a nail gun make things... well, more difficult, for the fairies? :hmm:

 

[Goro-Link]

Funny thread. i'll keep an eye on this.

 

[Beeker]

Haha, that's really random stuff.
I don't think I've ever said anything as awesome as that!

 

[Link-182]

I can imagine everything he said being 100 times funnier in real life. Secretly video record him!

 

[Goro-Link]

"Now the tennis balls are mating"

 

[ancazur]

Secretly video record him!

:nod: *evil giggle*

I do tend to talk to my game characters, but never to that extent...

 

[Goro-Link]

I talk to annoying enemies. but i'm not that amazing at it.

Let us know what he says about shiek being zelda. when the time comes.

 

[Shadsie]

Oh, Bob knows certain spoilers. He's watched me play the games, this is just the first time he's played them himself.

Tonight...



Link's Trauma After Meeting the First Great Fairy

Link: *Runs to the owl and ducks under the Hylian shield holding his head in his hands and twitches (Bob purposefully twitched the controls)! *

"Oh! What she did to me! Oh, I'm going to get a lawyer! A Goron lawyer to roll all over her!"

"I've got a permanant twitch now! I feel so sick!"

*After letting the owl take him to Kakariko, up on the rooftop, the ducking under the shield moans of trauma continue*

"My youth! My youth! My precious youth!"

"...Oh! That's right, Zelda did this to me! Zelda! ZELDA!!"



(To be clear... Bob and I have some opinions regarding the Great Fairies' looks - some rather... adult... opinions. As in "What was the Nintento staff smoking when they designed them?" and or "Just WHO were they visiting after work?" ) It sure makes the Great Fairy's "Hey boy!" and the owl's "My, Link, it looks like you've grown up!" lines a lot more...dubious than their probably innocent intentions.

 

[DuckNoises]

Oh, Bob knows certain spoilers. He's watched me play the games, this is just the first time he's played them himself.

Tonight...



Link's Trauma After Meeting the First Great Fairy

Link: *Runs to the owl and ducks under the Hylian shield holding his head in his hands and twitches (Bob purposefully twitched the controls)! *

"Oh! What she did to me! Oh, I'm going to get a lawyer! A Goron lawyer to roll all over her!"

"I've got a permanant twitch now! I feel so sick!"

*After letting the owl take him to Kakariko, up on the rooftop, the ducking under the shield moans of trauma continue*

"My youth! My youth! My precious youth!"

"...Oh! That's right, Zelda did this to me! Zelda! ZELDA!!"



(To be clear... Bob and I have some opinions regarding the Great Fairies' looks - some rather... adult... opinions. As in "What was the Nintento staff smoking when they designed them?" and or "Just WHO were they visiting after work?" ) It sure makes the Great Fairy's "Hey boy!" and the owl's "My, Link, it looks like you've grown up!" lines a lot more...dubious than their probably innocent intentions.

This is pretty much exactly what my friend did while I was helping him play through OoT for the first time. And I agree with you; Nintendo puts in lots and lots of "adult-oriented" lines and actions, usually double entendres. The kids may not notice them, but the parents will. It also makes for great replay value if you played the games when you were young -- then there's actually a whole new brand of humour accessible in the games when you're older.

I'm pretty sure all this stuff is intentional, and is carefully put in the game by the developers as both inside jokes for them in addition to a small percentage of the gamers.

Who says Nintendo games are for kids? They have lots of mature things in them; they're just better at fooling the ESRB than other developers.

My personal favourite is a Goron in Goron City who said something about hiding his stick; I don't exactly remember the specifics, but we all had a good laugh about it. You'll recognize it when you find him.

I can't wait to hear what he has to say about Ruto.

 

[Master Kokiri 9]

Link's Trauma After Meeting the First Great Fairy

Link: *Runs to the owl and ducks under the Hylian shield holding his head in his hands and twitches (Bob purposefully twitched the controls)! *

"Oh! What she did to me! Oh, I'm going to get a lawyer! A Goron lawyer to roll all over her!"

"I've got a permanant twitch now! I feel so sick!"

*After letting the owl take him to Kakariko, up on the rooftop, the ducking under the shield moans of trauma continue*

"My youth! My youth! My precious youth!"

"...Oh! That's right, Zelda did this to me! Zelda! ZELDA!!"

I think you married a nut Shadsie. Or wait, are you two engaged? I forget. Anyway, Bob's commentary is absolutely hilarious and very random. And man do I like me some random jokes.

In regards to that, I can't wait to see his randomness in Majora's Mask.