What is your advice style?

[Beauts]

I was thinking, dayam, it's been time some since I started a thread around here.

So I was thinking about the new life advice forum and that led me to thinking about helping people and giving out advice, and what sort of advice I give, as in the way you deliver it. Are you the sort of person who takes on a more soft, nurturing approach, or are you more tough-love, or something else?

I am generally more the tough-love type of person. I just think, sometimes people need to be told. Like, if they're being stupid about something, I'll tell them, and I'll tell them how to put it right. It's the same way I prefer to be given advice. Saying that, if the issue is more sensitive or difficult, I do try to approach it less harshly, though it doesn't really work. I'm the kind of person who, if you ask me what you should do, I will actually give you an answer.

 

[Azure Sage]

I'm definitely more soft and nurturing. I try to be as supportive and gentle as I can because I don't want to upset the person. I also try not to talk like I know exactly how they're feeling and I try to give my advice in a way that lets them know they still have control. I usually try to offer suggestions politely and be as encouraging as I can. It's important to take the other person's feelings into account and be very conscientious of them.

 

[Kylo Ken]

Sometimes I'm frank, upfront, and assertive. Other times I'll try to be caring, gentle, and understanding. These styles battle eachother every time I'm in the position to give advice. Usually, I try to find the right style before even opening my mouth or placing my hands on the keyboard.

 

[A Link In Time]

I have a hard time being particularly hard-pressing when addressing issues other people may have. I much prefer a slower approach where I ask people a lot of questions to find out more about their problems before offering advice. Knowing about the situation is key. If it's a short term problem, I usually check back with the person in a day or two; for larger issues, I try to ask for a status update every week or so and offer more advice if need be. It's important to take things slowly and gently.

 

[Justac00lguy]

I can pretty blunt at times and sometimes that's the best way to go. It's best not to sugarcoat things and instead tell a few home truths and say it straight. Although, I think I like to understand the situation and relate to it before I give any advice. Not that you can't give advice if you can't relate to it, but it's always good to be confident and assured when you're telling someone what to do or how to do something because you're affecting someone's life essentially.

 

[Wolf Sage]

I tend to deliver advice via the "tough-love" approach. However, that is not to say I don't analyze the person to whom I am giving the advice, their situation, or their plight. I believe that in order to give advice I have to know as much about the person and their situation as possible, and then use my analysis to try to relate to the person and provide sound, straightforward albeit motivational, uplifting advice. You can still give good, hard-hitting advice and not be a total ass. It needn't be one "style" of advice or the other; that's pure Bolshevism.

 

[misskitten]

I guess you could say I try to take the role as a mirror, let the person know what I observe about them and the situation and ask questions. If I have prior experience to similar situations, I try to use that as parallels as well. So, I guess my type of advice is really a mixture.

 

[キラ]

I like to be quite nurturing. I want to let people know that I care about their situation. I like to make people feel better.

But, with my friends, I can be pretty blunt. Lol.

 

[Malia]

Depends on the situation. Sometimes it's better to be gentle, sometimes it's better to dropkick someone in the face 'cause they prob need it. I'm fine to adapt to tough-love, or gentle, or the listener, or giving stories that the other person can relate to. I feel out the situation and proceed.

That said, the one rule I have about giving advice is I ask from the get-go "do you want advice, or someone to listen to your thoughts?" because I'm not a fan of someone who wants advice, but really all they want is someone to hear them out, and you end up saying something they completely disregard because that isn't what they're looking for. I think sharing experience and advice can be precious, and it should be valued, so I like to make it clear from the start what the other person wants. I mean, I'm fine to do either--advise or listen--but I like to make sure that I'm giving what the person I'm speaking to really wants from me.

 

[Mellow Ezlo]

Half and half I think. I could be either really.

For me, it depends on the person. If it's somebody I know really really well and I know their situation, I'll be really straight up and blunt. If it's someone I don't know as well though, I'll take a much softer approach. Sometimes I'll go right in the middle and very subtly be blunt about something. Like I said, it depends on the person.

 

[onebizarrekai]

Apparently extremely suckish, as I just found out the other day. I think I might sit back and let the more experienced advice-givers do the advice-giving, even if I think I know what I'm talking about. I think I might be better at just being there for them.

 

[Mercedes]

I'm definitely not a tough love person. I'll always say what I think's right, but care always needs to be taken. Even if the person can take it, I wouldn't want to be the one to dish it out, and if they won't listen then I don't think shouting at them helps. At the end of the day, a friend means being there for them even if they don't take your advice, so I concentrate on doing that rather than trying the tough love.

 

[Moonstone]

I lean more toward the tough love side, but it really depends on the situation and the person I'm helping.

 

[Dan]

Completely situational for me as should it be. Certain methods are more-so effective on certain dilemmas. As we are beings of emotion, it's important that our advice comes with a balance of both emotion and logic.
If a person is there for anxious or worried the first action for me is to bring em back into the world of reality, you can't apply any logic to a person that's anxious, just try telling a kid that his fear of the dark is illogical.
I find giving advice difficult, and whenever I do dish it out it doesn't feel like I've applied it correctly. Finding the right balance I mentioned earlier can be difficult.

 

[T. Strudel]

Whenever somebody is having troubles I just show them a picture of corgis frolicking about and they usually figure things out from there.