Aliens have taken over the planet. The only hope for retaking Earth is the new orbital railgun that fires a variety of shaped rails at the enemy below piloted by Cpt Sergei Petrov.
Old soviet superweapon that has been sitting in orbit since 1986 has somehow malfunctioned and started working on it's own, firing specifically shaped asteroids at major cities on Earth. Earth's only hope is to neatly stack the asteroids as they fall as to mitigate the damage. But the Russian scientists that made it in the 80's reveal a deadly secret about the device, if they stack the asteroids blocks for too long then it will increase the rate of fire.
It's an alternate 1980s. The Soviet Union has suddenly deployed an orbital weapon that showers the US with giant metallic blocks. Fortunately, connecting these blocks into patterns with magnets causes them to vanish, and--I can't go on.
SUMMARY OF THE FIRST MOVIE
In SciFi-verse #29091, humanity is attacked by hostile alien race #9634. Using orbital weapons platforms as their primary defense, humanity holds its ground relatively well -- but not without losses.
Fortunately, whatever team engineered these weapon platforms made them relatively easy to assemble: United Earth launches parts into orbit and the pieces connect. Unfortunately, these folks are assholes and made the pieces non-uniform, forcing whoever assembles them to think of appropriate formations.
Cue our protagonist, Gary Stu. He's just a normal guy... except he's played by some handsome actor who could make a crowd of girls swoon with a smile. But trust me, he's a normal guy. Look, the directors'll go out of their way showing Gary's dead-end job at the convenience store of the future, his tiny apartment, and his inability to get a girlfriend; we all know that's supposed to mean something. He's got a good attitude and a sharp mind. In fact, every night he jumps on the internet of the future and puts together these weapon platforms. Apparently, he's the only guy who can do it.
Tetris? What's that? There's no Tetris here!
He does something stupid, and now the space military wants him. They try to persuade him to join up, and he's like, "No thanks, I prefer my minimum wage job." So they pull out Mary Sue, and little Gary wakes up. They shove Gary up into space without the least bit of military training, and he assembles new platforms there with Mary as eye candy.
Did I say eye candy? I meant as his assistant. I know she doesn't look military, but trust me her stunt double is great. She's super-competent except when it comes to Tetris assembling platforms.
Where was I? Oh, right. Mary hates Gary, since he's kind of normal, and women are judgmental like that. But that'll change. You see, the aliens decide to renew their attacks. They like to sit on their asses when their enemies are scrambling to reconstruct their defenses, you see. It's kind of convenient.
It just so happens that their attack right now is so severe that it's up to Gary to save the day. While Mary is stressing over some issue, Gary's cool. He builds up that platform over there, hovering in a key strategic position. It isn't being attacked even though it's clearly vulnerable to attack, and if a competent commander was there he'd get his guys to knock it out of orbit. Never mind that; Gary gets the damn platform up and running, and soon alien ships plummet into the terran atmosphere.
Yay, day saved. Mary's got goo-goo eyes for Gary now, but let's keep that a secret.
Meanwhile, back in alien command, Competent Alien Commander wants his unstoppable assault to go through. It's a really good plan that'll destroy Earth defenses and open up the planet for... for something. Actually, why are they fighting Earth to begin with? What, just ignore that? Okay. Well, Commander's chuckling in his control center. Guess he's the undisputed bad guy. That's a shame; his armor looks wicked. All his shinies look wicked. Especially that gun that shoots green plasma bolts, which he used to kill his messenger in stereotypical ruthless leader fashion.
What's Gary doing now? Wow, he's nabbed a date with Mary? Good going normal guy, you scored a chick way out of your league!
He manages to unlock the kiss scene right before the Commander starts his assault.
Oh, no! This assault is pretty bad. This time, it looks like the humans might lose. Gary's doing his best playing space Tetris construction but those alien ships look pretty lethal. Where'd these xenos get these ships, anyway? I'm surprised they're waiting till now to use 'em. And, ****, Mary, why? She's in trouble! Gary, you're a piece of **** soldier, but you better go help her. Alright, girl saved, she's head-over-heels for you man. Now you just gotta save the day like you're supposed to. The Commander's even giving you a window of opportunity: he's left like six platforms standing in the wake of his awesome attack. You can just finish building them up and they'll rek that Conveniently Placed Weak Spot on the Commander's ship.
Gary makes it, of course. Commander dies with his ship since he's got no escape pods. Mary's just about to drag Gary off to a private room.
Oh, and there are explosions. Lots of them.
PART ONE END
The climax:
"My god, we just screwed up placing that I-block!"
"Dammit! Those Z-blocks are just gonna keep piling up! Tell 'em we don't have much time, and may god have mercy on our souls!"
