(PANTING) Okay.
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
Come on, let's go. Let's go, buddy.
Come on, come on, we gotta move, we gotta move.
Whoa!
(GRUNTING)
(SPITS) Uh-oh! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
No,no,no,no,no!
(SCREAMING)
(GRUNTING)
Huh?
(GASPING) Whoa, whoa, whoa!
(GRUNTS) Hey! Hey! Gotcha!
Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
(GRUNTS) Ow! Ow! Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow!
(BOTH SCREAMING)
I don't like it! I don't like it!
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTING)
Whoo! (CHUCKLES)
(SCREAMING)
OW! Ooh! Ah! OW! OW!
Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow! Oh!
Beak! Wing! Tail!
Ribs!
Giblets!
(G ROANS)
Ha!
(SCREAMING)
I'm flying!
Nope, still can't fly.
(SCREAMING)
(BURBLING) I cannot believe this.
Breathe, breathe. (INHALES)
(GASPS)
(couemwe)
Bottom feeder.
Up and over!
(PANTING)
Whew! (GASPS)
Ta-da! -(HORN TOOTS)
-(SHRIEKING) No, no, no, no.
Look. It's okay. I'm just a clown.
Oh, boy.
That's a loud... Loud... -(SOBBING)
You're very scared of me.
Here, come here. -(SHRIEKING)
Nope. Okay. Nope. Never mind.
Uh, happy hatchday!
Oh! Hi, pal.
You must be so disappointed in yourself for being this late.
Oh, no. No, no, no, no.
I'm not late. Look at the time.
See, the order said before noon.
(CACKLING)
Okay, now you're late.
What? Where have you been?
-It's funny you ask. You see, I was... You missed the party.
What is that? Oh, that.
Um, yes, see, I fell on the box.
(CHITTERS)
Oh, the squirrel? -(GIGGLES)
That's on us.
You know, I tried to keep my body between the ground and the box, but, you know, I think I got a little bruise.
See anything back there? -(G ROANS)
Hear that, honey?
The clown we paid to be here an hour ago fell on our son's hatchday cake.
That's why our son's hatchday party is ruined!
Oh!
And the next time you mess up, don't tell me a story, just take responsibility.
Hey, man, it wasn't a story.
"I'm a screwup that woke up late
-"and fell on the thing you paid for!" -(MIMICKING GIBBERISH)
It wasn't a story. I almost drowned. -"I'm really bad at my job and I'm late..."
Why don't we just settle this out
-and say the cake's on you. You.
(STRAINED GRUNTING)
I'm sorry, it's on me?
Well, who else would it be on?
(CHUCKLES)
(SIGHS) Well, you know, I...
I'm not sure you're gonna like this, um, but since you asked.
Rather than being on me, as you suggested, this cake is on you!
So, you wanna hear a story?
I run my butt off, literally, mind you, to get the "gluten-free cake."
What the heck is gluten?
I mean, does gluten even exist?
(TREMBLING) Who are you?
Get outta here!
Already? But you're the only one that's had cake.
What...
Mmm.
Oh, that's good stuff.
Mmm. Anybody want to eat some cake off their dad or husband?
Who needs plates when you got this guy's face, right? (CHUCKLES)
Oh, oh, mmm! Oh, wait. I almost forgot.
You know, I'm supposed to do a quick customer satisfaction survey before I (WHISTLES) split, okay?
So, on a scale of one to three stars, what would you say about my performance?
And don't forget, the squirrel was... -(SQUEAKS)
(DISTORTED) ...free...
(DISTORTED SCREAM)
Sorry about this! No!
My bad.
(GRUNTS)
Huh!
(STRAINED GRUNTING)
-(OTHERS GASP) Mmm!
RED: (MUFFLED) Congratulations!
Huh? Ohl It's a boy!
(PARANOID BY BLACK SABBATH PLAYING)
Mmm.
Mmm. -(ANGRY GRUNT)
Hmm?
Ooh. Ooh, ooh. Huh?
Mm. Mm. -(GASPS)
Ooh-hoo-how. (GROANS)
FEMALE CLASSMATE: Hey, Eyebrows. -(LAUGHTER)
(WHISPERING)
Eyebrows!
ALL: Eyebrows!
(ANGRY GRUNTING)
(SNORING)
-(POUNDING) -(GROANS)
(YELLS)
(RED SIGHS)
Wheel
(GASPING)
{SNEEZES) -Huh?
(SNIFFLES)
(SNEEZING)
(G ROANS)
Oh!
Hmm.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
(GULPS) Uh-oh.
Hmm?
Oh.
(GRUNTING)
(GIGGLING)
(ANGRY GRUNT)
(ANGRY GRUNT)
EVA: Your Honor, our family has always practiced natural childhatch.
The risks of having a scrambled infant are too great.
There was going to be music, the nest was going to be full of beautiful, fresh-cut flowers.
(CROWD EXCLAIMS)
And the first two faces he was going to see were the loving faces
(SOBBING) of his mother and his father.
(CROWD MURMURING)
(enemas)
We can never get that moment back.
Ma'am, I never wanted my face to be the first face your baby saw.
(CHUCKLES) I mean, what are we talking about here?
He probably doesn't even remember me.
Daddy! -(CROWD GASPS)
No, no, no. No. Shh. Shut up.
Shut up. -(GROWLING)
Cool it.
Ladies and gentlemen, am I a passionate bird?
Yes.
(CHUCKLES) Guilty as can be.
It was a quality cake. Mmm.
Look, I worked very hard to get it there on time and he wouldn't even try it!
(CLEARS THROAT) Mr. Red, we are a happy, happy bird community.
ALL: Mmm-hmm.
Under the protection of Mighty Eagle, we work, we play, we laugh, we love, and we live our lives free from conflict and strife, sir.
We love the sound of our own voice, too, evidently.
Perhaps you never heard the joke, "Why don't birds fly?"
I'm gonna tell you why.
Because where else would we ever wanna go?
(LAUGHTER)
-lt gets me every time, guys! Wow! Not a good joke.
So now, what am I to make of the likes of you?
There seems to be a recurring issue here.
Anger. -(CROWD MURMURS)
(SCOFFS) I don't think I have an anger issue.
I think you got an anger issue.
(CROWD GASPS)
Anger is a weed growing in our garden.
And what do you do when you find a weed?
I don't know, but I bet you're gonna tell me.
You pluck it out!
Oh, my God.
Mr. Red, when you moved your house outside of our village, did you notice that nobody tried to stop you?
(SIGHS)
Birds, they may smile at you on the street, but that doesn't mean they like you.
(EXHALES)
Mmm-hmm. Hey, you know what? I got a question for you.
Are you aware that that robe that you're wearing isn't fooling anybody?
We all see ya prancing along the street, Your Honor!
And you're, what, and I'm just approximating here, like, an inch tall?
You... What are you doing? -(CROWD GASPS) voila! {SNEEZES)
-(SNIFFLES) Yeesh.
-(CROWD GASPS) What the...
Daddy!
Mr. Red, given the severity of the crimes, I have no choice but to impose the maximum penalty allowed by the law.
Anger management class.
-(CROWD GROANS) Oh.
Pluck my life.
-(GASPS) -(FRUSTRATED GROAN)
Fresh worms caught today. Huh?
Hey, Red. How are ya?
Oh, I'm horrible.
STELLA: Oh, hi, Red.
It's good to see you!
I wish I could say the same. Get your worms here!
-(LAUGHING) Upsy-daisy!
(GASPS)
Thank you. (GROANS)
-(PLAYING LIVELY TUNE) Ah! Huh?
-(PLAYING SQUEAKY NOTES) Huh?
Let's go. Oh.
(YOUNG BIRDS GIGGLING)
How are you, Susie? You good?
No running. No running. (CHUCKLES)
Ooh! Come on.
Hey, how's that nap schedule coming along?
-(CHUCKLES) Oh, boy.
You guys ever thought about bird control?
00f!
Lefi,flghLlefi,flghL There ya go.
(HUMMING)
(MOCKING HUM)
Hey, hey.
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
-(GIGGLING) All right. Oop!
-(GROANS) SHIRLEY: Shirley.
Girly, you got this.
MONICA: We don't want you to fall, now. Take your time.
-(GROANS) Here we go. That's it.
(GRUNTING)
Oh, you're doing it!
Seriously?
I'm almost there.
(FRUSTRATED GROAN)
Hmm?
Nope.
Hmm.
(BIRDS GASPING HAPPILY)
-(ALL GASP) -(SPITTING)
(LAUGHTER)
YOGA INSTRUCTOR: Pigeon pose.
Crane pose.
-(PANTING) Okay, we worked out.
Who's down for a froyo? Ooh!
Froyo. Wow.
"Mighty Mighty Eagle, soaring free.
"Defender of our homes and liberty!"
Hi, Red.
Is one of those yours?
What?
Yeah, when birds fly.
DAY CARE BIRD: "Mighty Eagle is a legend."
(STATUE LAUGHING RHYTHMICALLY)
(AMPLIFIED HEARTBEAT)
(GRUMBLES)
(CRACKING)
(ANGRY GRUNTING)
(EXHALES)
Mmm.
(GRUNTS)
(GROANS IN PAIN)
(EXHALES)
(YELLING)
(GRUNTING) You think that's funny? Ha-ha-ha!
This is funny!
(RHYTHMIC LAUGHING CONTINUES)
Uh-oh.
(GRUNTING)
Oh! Ah! Come on!
(RHYTHMIC LAUGHING DISTORTS)
(GRUNTING)
-(YELLS) -(RHYTHMIC LAUGHING STOPS)
(PANTING)
(RHYTHMIC LAUGHING)
What?
(GRUNTING)
(ST ATUE GRUNT S)
00f!
(GRUNTS)
Whew! (PANTING)
(GRUNTS)
-(HELENE GASPS) Hmm?
Don't look, Bobby. -(CHUCKLES)
The anger might be contagious.
Let's go!
He started it. HELENE: Move it, move it! Don't look back!
(G ROANS)
There you go.
Uh-huh.
(STATUE GROANS WEAKLY)
(GRUNTING)
Oh, look at this.
This is gonna be awful.
Okay, I guess that's art.
That's garbage.
And that's exotic.
"Free rage" what?
MATILDA: on, m! -(GASPS)
Hi there! Welcome... Oh, hello.
...to the Infinity Acceptance group.
I am Matilda. Okay.
And I'm just super psyched to be taking this journey with you!
Ah! You're gonna have a blast.
I'm really fun.
(CHUCKLING) Everybody says that about me.
Hey, guys.
Say hello to Red, everyone.
Hello!
Hi, Red. (CHUCKLES)
Hello, birds I won't get to know well.
Hey, apparently somebody didn't get the memo that we like to start on time because you're about two minutes late.
Don't let it happen again.
Hi, my name is Chuck.
I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot.
I like you a lot. I can tell.
(CHUCKLES) Okay.
Now, Red, would you like to share your story with us?
No, not really.
Well, the court mentioned something about a rage episode at a child's birthday party.
How long is this class, anyway?
As long as you make it.
Really? Oh, okay. Mmm-hmm.
Uh, gentlemen, very nice to see you, and to almost meet you.
Probably the nicest part of it is not getting to meet you, -you know, in some weird way. -(BOTH GROAN)
All right, so I'm gonna go ahead and scoot on back out past those creepy statues and, uh...
(GRUNTS) Back you go.
Sure. No, I can take a seat. -(HUMMING)
So, in another sense, you are here until I notify the court that your anger issues have been resolved.
(enemas)
Oh, boy.
Chuck!
Share your story with Red.
