Djinn
and Tonic
It's election season once again so it is time to elect your next Dark Lord. Looking at their policies, their track records, and their opinions on things like minions and mystical objects of power who do you think is perfect for the job.
The first candidate is Palpatine, a promising career politician and space wizard who is notoriously hard on rebellions and dissident planets. If elected he promises to increase military spending for the defense of the common man and to enact his planet sized superweapon projects which will bring in hundreds of thousands of jobs to the economy.
The second candidate is Sauron, an angelic being who's experience in administration ranges back to before time and space were created. He promises a future for men, orcs, wargs, and wraiths under his domination. He is hard on free will but has been accused of being far too light on cannibalism. He has been very successful in curbing partisan tactics through bending all wills to his own so that we can have a safe and functional government.
The third candidate is Voldemort, an exceptional up and coming statesman who's knowledge of the dark arts is only exceeded by his will to rule all. He runs on a platform of wizards as the ruling class and securing jobs for all muggles.
Next is Doctor Doom a monarch of a small European nation. He runs on a platform of oppressive technological superiority and evil super science. He is anti superhero and promises robot soldiers on every street corner.
The Lich King is an ancient ruler from the north that brings an impressive but ambitious undeath health care plan that promises to remove all diseases and ills from humanity. He has been criticized for his fight against global warming through the creation of frost abominations in the past.
Last is Aku the Shogun of Sorrow who also has a lengthy history of ruling hapless millions under his belt. He provides an excellent tax reform consisting of paying all trubute to him alone which will remove all bloated and useless programs from the system.
The first candidate is Palpatine, a promising career politician and space wizard who is notoriously hard on rebellions and dissident planets. If elected he promises to increase military spending for the defense of the common man and to enact his planet sized superweapon projects which will bring in hundreds of thousands of jobs to the economy.
The second candidate is Sauron, an angelic being who's experience in administration ranges back to before time and space were created. He promises a future for men, orcs, wargs, and wraiths under his domination. He is hard on free will but has been accused of being far too light on cannibalism. He has been very successful in curbing partisan tactics through bending all wills to his own so that we can have a safe and functional government.
The third candidate is Voldemort, an exceptional up and coming statesman who's knowledge of the dark arts is only exceeded by his will to rule all. He runs on a platform of wizards as the ruling class and securing jobs for all muggles.
Next is Doctor Doom a monarch of a small European nation. He runs on a platform of oppressive technological superiority and evil super science. He is anti superhero and promises robot soldiers on every street corner.
The Lich King is an ancient ruler from the north that brings an impressive but ambitious undeath health care plan that promises to remove all diseases and ills from humanity. He has been criticized for his fight against global warming through the creation of frost abominations in the past.
Last is Aku the Shogun of Sorrow who also has a lengthy history of ruling hapless millions under his belt. He provides an excellent tax reform consisting of paying all trubute to him alone which will remove all bloated and useless programs from the system.
So long as it ain't Ungoliant Brr
