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Because it mind-controlled you to eat rotten rabbit feet [with a side of cockroach legs]. Why do I have to write this essay?

Maybe. Rawr = Moo + Fooooood / Lizards^3 + 12?

Because you're not. Why are vegetables supposedly good for you?

Donate to the blood bank, duh! What is the supreme rule of the universe?

When the Pikachu explodes into a tub of hot ice. When it's raining in China, it's raining everywhere--right?

Yes. The very juicy kind. Will you reply to this?

It's in your fridge. FRYING YOUR BACON. Why is this toenail green?

It's not--it only makes you think it is. Why do apples call for vending machines at 3:00 in the morning to order some hot seaweed biscuits?

The Hidden Village to become the 21st cat. Am I hungry?

Because the King of Red Lions has no vending machine. Why do pineapples like to be thrown into lakes?