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Granted, but only if you sleep naked. I wish I could spell ceygrvhe correctly.

Granted, but the Triforce pieces are labeled 1, 2, and 4 and your curiosity leads you to spend the rest of your life trying to find the nonexistent "third" piece. I wish my stomach would stop hurting.

Granted, but now the kitten is stuck in a tree and she doesn't have Life Alert. When I was stuck in a tree and couldn't get out Life Alert was there for me. I wish the government would give me five dollars every time I burp.

Granted, but now your bladder produces liquid gold and the only way to collect your fortune is through surgery. I wish I had gigantic nuts. Preferably of the pea variety.

Granted, but the arm is so cool that it get's frost bite and has to be amputated. I wish this text was italicized instead of bold.

Granted, but the entire world's economy collapses because you hoard that much money. I wish the human species wasn't so stupid and violent.

Granted, but your job is to be unemployed. I wish for a very thin pancake.

Granted, but dogs are now giraffes. I wish I could fall asleep.

Granted, but the problem with lie detection through physical means is that the symptoms of lying are indistinguishable from nervousness. So really you're only able to tell when someone is nervous. I wish for a toaster.

Granted, but you're in jail and you dropped the rope. I wish my sink was more sink-y.

Granted, but they only exist on an obscure planet hundreds of millions of lightyears away. I wish peanutbutter tasted more like butter and less like peanut.

Granted, but it was made with the same technology as those babies that simulate the behaviour of real babies and you can't get it to shut up. I wish I would stop spelling behaviour the British way by force of habit.

Granted, but the pie is rhubarb. I wish for FREE DIRT!

Branted, but bour bife bas bot banged bn bny bignificant bay bs b besult bf bhat bchievement. B bish bll bords btarted bith B.

Granted, but the restaurant your parents were going to tonight got bombed by terrorists so they came home early, saw the party, and grounded you for a month. I wish for a fish stick made of chicken.

Granted, but your citizens complain that . (wow this game is fun) is a weird and stupid name so they revolt and change the name to Martinsburg. I wish I could do a good redneck accent.

Granted, but each of your ten feet have a mind of their own so you can't even control where you walk. I wish pigs came equipped with lasers and samurai swords.

Granted, but the same projects will be reassigned later in the school year. I wish for the best computer mouse that will ever be made in the history of the universe.

Granted, but you're killed by the first Goomba. I wish for some punctuation

Granted but Water Temple Trollface.jpg. I wish I knew how to tie my shoes.

Granted, but your country becomes known as the second Nazi Germany until some other country sends people who have posted duckface pictures on the internet, into death camps. I wish I could stop staring at chrisplusado's signature.

Granted, but it's a tiger that pees all around your house to mark his territory. I wish all monkeys were ninjas.

Granted, but it will cost you 1,000,000 Poke dollars or a bike voucher. I wish I knew what to wish for.

Granted, but you didn't wish for a plate so there's dirt and squirrel poop in the pie. I wish for a life time's supply of free octopus food.

Granted, but you're banned for shouting too loud. I wish dirt was a living being that can communicate with people.

Granted, but they get censored beyond recognition because of some stupid censorship law that passes just before its release. I wish potato chips wouldn't go stale when you leave the bag open.

Granted, but he puts bacon in your soap. I wish there was a cure for butthurt.

Granted, but the knight blocks the screen through the whole freaking movie. I wish everyone knew what irony is.

(And I wish you would spell does correctly) Granted, but the game becomes uninteresting, it gets buried under other failed games, and everyone hunts you down and murders you for killing one of their favorite games. I wish cats had unicorn horns.

Granted, but the entire human race disappears because no one has ever not killed something or stolen something. I wish perform two contradictory actions at the same time.

Granted, but the point pokes your eye out. I wish earthworms were intelligent creatures.

Granted, but the universe implodes. I wish for a purple turtle.

Granted, but all you get for hitting floating ? blocks are coins that are not legal tender in your country. I wish for nothing.

Granted, but it only works with pitchers of grape Kool-aid. I wish I was cooler than my Aunt Arctica.

Granted, but now your pet dolphin will rebel and attempt to take over the world. I wish orange juice tasted more like lemons.

Granted, but the Ticklish Mormon Children broke all of the breakable objects in your house while they were tickling each other. I wish there was a moral to this wish.

Granted, here's your three wheat, three buckets of milk, egg, and two sugars. But you need a Crafting Table to bake your cake. I wish people would stop walking in front of me, blocking the TV. I wish they would go around, go around the other side please. Or wait a minute, ask me to press pause...

Granted, but then you can't have your XL fries and burger. I wish jellyfish could talk and interact with us on a human level. That has happened several times already.

Granted, but the State Farm agent has a not for resale demo copy of the game, where you can only play certain parts of the game for a limited time. I wish there were floating islands in real life.

Granted, but you already wasted money for it's burial arrangements and the funeral home won't give you a refund. I wish I had a can of Sprite.

Granted, but you do it in an RPG-esque style and your attack misses. Then the corpse summons a meteor and kills you, your best friend and a random attractive female elf that joined your party. I wish Abraham Lincoln was a professional Nazi hunter.

Granted, but you can only find the OoT and two of the D's. I wish soda was good for my teeth.

Granted, but you find out that a friend is trapped inside the ice cream and another friend eats it by mistake. I wish I had a non-lie cake.

You used a time machine to kill yourself a minute before you go through that time machine. I wish my brother could play Ocarina of Time without me having to help him with every slightly difficult part.

Granted, but a mad man comes up to you and says he will kill you unless you express how scary he is. I wish all of the fsh in the world had eyes.

Granted, but the delivery man delivered it to the top of Mount Everest. I wish everything was written in purple.

Granted, but you're overshadowed by crappy artists, like pretty much all great artists. I wish there was some other way to start these sentences other than "I wish".

Granted, but his voice sounds like the screams of a kitten that is walking on cacti. I wish domo would capitalize the first word of his sentences.

Granted, but everyone accuses you of being racist. I wish I was a lawyer.

Granted, but if you don't bathe for a while you will forget how to speak French. I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself.