... perv...
jk
Anyway, her friend flung a pen at me and I caught it and started to roll away (I was in a computer chair), but she got up and cornered me and I was covering my... well, you get it, 'cause she's been known to kick guys there, but I hadn't realized that I was holding the pen in the same hand I was using to guard my jewels, so she grabbed for it, and I was like: "OH SH*T!" (thought she was gonna punch me) tried to jump out of the way, but she took the pen away and brushed my... package.