Tales of Hyrule: Love Stories Through the Ages – Hyrule Missed Connections

Gorgeous Red-Haired Dancer in West Clock Town (Clock Town)

I know you’re probably only in town for the Carnival of Time, so hopefully you see this before the carnival concludes.

You and your sister have been practicing in West Clock Town for the last few nights, and I’ve been sort of… a silent spectator. I just can’t help it. You’re so lovely and talented. I feel lucky to have been an unofficial audience for your rehearsals.

And you’re so good with kids. You must be so kind to allow a child to dance for you in his silly, little mask.

You were wearing a white dress with red trim. I think I might have saw you glance over at me last night? If you did, send me a message telling me what my job is. That way I’ll know its you.

Let’s spend some time together at the carnival. I have a friend that would love to meet your sister too.

• do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

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Hylian guy that would visit me at Item Check (Skyloft Bazaar)

Curious to find out what happened to you. You used to come and meet me at the Item Check where we talked and you stored a few shields. You were good-looking, fit and spoke softly and carried a talking sword. I always found your visits worthwhile. What ever happened to you? I hope you are doing well.

• do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

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I’ve Always Been Around, But You Don’t Even Know I Exist (Hateno Village)

We’ve lived in this village for years, but I don’t think you’ve ever noticed me checking you out. You pass right by me. You work in the inn. I work as a watchman. Hopefully you see this and we can chat sometime. I’d love to hear about what you like. Maybe we share some interests (crickets, even).

My birthday is tomorrow. Maybe, if you see this before then, we can meet up. You’re such a beauty. I hope one day you’ll notice me.

• do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

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Lost woods (Holodrum)

It was early afternoon in autumn. You have blonde hair and a great smile. We shared a few smiles and looks while I was there, starting when I first ran into you with my broom. I wanted to ask your name before I left but I got nervous. I had on a purple hat and a purple dress. Hopefully you read this and reply or someone who knows you tells you.

You can keep the rings I dropped.

• do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

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Were you looking at me? (Castle Town)

I just couldn’t tell!

We were both standing on East Road last night, facing each other’s direction. I don’t quite remember who turned first, but I looked up and saw you staring. Or at least I hope so!

I hope I didn’t look too creepy staring back. I was tryin’ to figure out if you were looking my way. I second-guessed myself a few times. You could have been looking at some cute alley dog or looking for Dr. Borville’s office. How was I supposed to know!

I spent hours trying to find out. Maybe you were too? If you see this post, let’s meet back up there. I’d love to see you again, but up close this time!

• do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

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you: running away from a flock of chickens (Lon Lon Ranch)

passing by, and passing by again, hello

i looked back to see you looking back-

did you return just to see me?

though feathered fiends assailed you.

life is short, smiles are worthwhile,

extremely unlikely you will read this.

however, in the event you do-

please tell me why they chase you.

can go from there, i will wait!

• do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

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To the pirate lady near Zora Cape (Great Bay Coast)

I noticed you checking me out from your boat you look like you wanted to say something but you were too shy if you remember me I’m the guy with the shaved head and all the tattoos and the talking seahorse I was fishing hit me up with a pic of you wanna talk I’m 48

• do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

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I Think Your Name is Anju (Kakariko Village)

You’re the sweet lady that takes care of the Cuccos in Kakariko Village. I’ve been admiring you from afar for quite some time. I think you’re super adorable, the way you wrangle those chickens, even though you’re allergic. You just seem so nice. I’d love to get to know you better. Maybe we can watch the mountain or the windmill together sometime.

…I’m the guy with the red beard, white shirt, and colorful pants. Also, I live on a roof.

• do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

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Cute hero at Snowfield Stable on Tuesday (Tabantha Tundra)

You remembered that I wanted to see a picture of a Stalhorse, even though I had not seen you in months. I was flattered; made me wonder if there might be a spark. I was journaling in the corner by myself.

• do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

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I just wanted to get this out. I doubt you’ll ever see this or know its me (Windfall Island)

We’ve been friends since childhood, and ever since I first laid eyes on you, I knew you were special. You were like an angel from the heavens, come down shining like a shooting star in the night sky.

It hurts me so much to see you with another man, especially one that I would call a friend. My one true hope is that, deep down, you do have feelings for me in the same way I have feelings for you. Perhaps, the only reason you agreed to date him was because I have been so scared to admit to you how I really feel. I take responsibility for that.

I wish you happiness. If you don’t see this or just don’t put the pieces together, I’ll be okay with that. I’ll continue to gaze across the star-filled sky and hope someone’s out there for me.

• do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

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You came into my house the other day (Kakariko Village)

You were a handsome young man in a green tunic. I must say, I was caught a bit off guard when you entered my home unannounced, but your strong, sturdy face and flowing blonde hair won me over all the same. You didn’t say very much. In fact, I can’t recall a single word. But you didn’t have to say anything. I sensed the chemistry almost immediately. I remember watching you pick up a clay pot from the corner of the room and throw it effortlessly against the wall. I must admit, I caught a glimpse of your arm muscles flexing as you tossed that pot. I hope you didn’t see me blushing.

Please come see me again soon. I’d love to cook you some stew.

• do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

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Rod Lloyd is the Managing Editor for Zelda Dungeon. He runs the weekly Caption Contest, writes silly list articles, and dabbles with video. Follow him on Twitter!