The Mandatory Spirit Tracks Rant

That’s right folks! It didn’t take long for the new (HQ) trailer of the new Zelda title to surface on the internet. The trailer features some, shall we say, unique elements that appear in the game. Whether or not these are to your liking, I’m sure you can’t resist watching this video.

The trailer raises several questions. If this is a sequel to Phantom Hourglass, why is there suddenly land everywhere? Why is Tetra Zelda again? Did she somehow rediscover the Triforce? And most importantly, the question on everyone’s mind: WHY TRAINS?

It seems that the Zelda team that developed Phantom Hourglass is taking yet another giant leap towards the casual gamer market by recycling the familiar established elements and introducing new gimmicky gadgets for the kids to play with. Gone are the days when Zelda was the pioneer of adventure games, the groundbreaking innovator other franchises looked up to with fear and respect gleaming in their eyes.

Another question that comes to mind is, what’s wrong with these damn titles? Seriously, Spirit Tracks? Why not go all the way and name it Link’s Enchanted Train Adventure! Ever since The Wind Waker Zelda games have gotten more and more ridiculous titles. At least they’re making a damn good job emphasizing who their target audience is.

But seriously, what can we expect from this game? Apparently we are once again tied to tedious, obligatory transportation sequences, which for some reason have become a standard in the series. Maybe it’s the same kind of trend that video games had in the 80s. Because the game cartridges had limited memory, the games had to be made insanely challenging to add length and playability. Today, we are forced to trudge through a sea of obligatory filler material.

I’m not even going comment on how absurd the concept of trains in a Zelda game is. But the fact that this is apparently a magical Spirit Train that runs sparkling fairy dust and shamelessly recycles the cannon concept from Phantom Hourglass just makes me lose faith in the future of this project.

So, is this the death of the franchise? Thankfully no. If we are to believe the people in charge of the show, they currently have two Zelda teams working simultaneously on two titles. One for the DS and one for the Wii. We can only hope that the sequel of Twilight Princess doesn’t feature bicycles, helicopters, submarines, cadillacs… I think you got the picture by now.