You know, I’ve had many nights that ended like our fabled hero in a previous episode of The Legend of Neil. Go out, have some drinks, save the world, get the girl. Of course, without the saving the world part—and without the girl. Ok, it’s true story time.
Last night I went out the local pub to have a good time with some friends after doing one dollar bowling night. The night was ok, and I was downing a decent amount of drinks all while scoping out the crowd for that one girl I was going to get digits from. Well, you see, my ex called one of my friends cell phones looking for me… so to help him out I tookthe call. I mean, he was actually waiting for a call so I had to make sure the ex understood that it was just a bad time to talk.
So, I went outside and tried to make her understand that hey, I’m a free man and partially intoxicated. As I hung up, a man approached me looking tough and asked me for some money. Naturally, I told him to “fuck off” and proceeded towards the door to the bar. He then pulled a gun on me, held it to my throat, and told me to give him all my cash. Not really knowing what to do, and really not wishing to be in the hospital today (I had a job interview I didn’t want to miss) I handed him my wallet.
He took the cash out, threw the wallet back at me, got in his buddies car and drove off. Yeah, pretty shitty. Of course, some say I should of knived him, broke his arm, gave him the knee to the crotch, or simply jacked him in the face and bolted to the bar door. Others say I should of just gave him a complete beat down, but with possibly a loaded gun, and his homies waiting in the car where they too may have had loaded guns, it didn’t seem worth the risk. In short, I was out $60, I couldn’t finish getting hammered, the girl I wanted called me a pussy, and the next thing I know my friends bailed and I had to walk home. Such a great night.
The moral of the story, I guess, is that things don’t always turn out the way they should. For me, for Neil… or for that Seth Rogan guy when he nailed that chick in Knocked Up. In this, episode 4 of season 2, Neil finally makes his way to the local pub.
Oh, and that story I told? Ironically enough it’s actually true. Go figure. Check out the rest of The Legend of Neil at their website.