If you guys didn’t already know, I will be leaving for college next week. While running down my college’s list of “stuff to bring”, it hit me: I’m finally going to college. I’m going to be on my own. After years of being seen as the “smart, funny, but kinda weird kid who I would never date and only be friends with”, I finally have a chance to totally reinvent myself. Maybe I should stop wearing those t-shirts my Mom bought me all those years ago with the clever/witty/ironic/semi-ironic/post-ironic one-liners on them and get some real clothes—I’ve heard brightly-colored polos are so in right now. Perhaps I should ditch my clunky CD player and go out and buy an iPod. It could just about be time for me to stop trying so hard to be different and just have a good time with my life.
I think it’s time I stopped playing Zelda.
Before you get all riled up, think about it. College is time of adventure, and not the kind that involves rescuing princesses. It’s about fresh, new experiences—letting go of your inhibitions. Instead of staying inside and trying to find that one heart piece in the shovel mini-game of Link’s Awakening, maybe I’ll go to a party. Maybe I’ll throw back a few cold ones. Maybe I’ll ask a cute girl in my Psychology class to get coffee sometime. Maybe I’ll have actual fun.
In retrospect, I could kind of see this coming. My overall interest in the series has been steadily declining over the years. I used to do speedruns of A Link to the Past, and write articles about all sorts of wacky “theories”, and post on ZeldaUniverse, and count down the days until I was old enough for my parents to let me get this Triforce tattooed on my back. Then I started playing, writing, posting, and counting less. Speedruns become monotonous. Theories became laughable. Posting became dull. Accidentally spent my tattoo money on a subscription to Maxim. At this point, the only time I ever did anything Zelda-related was when a tune from The Wind Waker would come up on shuffle in my iTunes library.
Besides, all of that was done from inside the privacy of my own room, where nobody would ever see (except for my Mom while bringing up second rounds of Totino’s pizza rolls). In college, I really can’t afford to have my roommate come home with some lady friends and them seeing me sitting in my boxers playing Ocarina of Time. Stuff like that gets out. Soon, that hot girl Jenny down the hall I was slowly working up the courage to talk to might think I’m some sort of “geek” or “loser” or something. She’ll probably tell all her friends that I think I’m some sort of wizard or fairy or elf or something. I can’t have that. That’ll probably leave me only chances with her weird Goth friend. And goths are only cute when you talk to them over MSN.
But I can’t really say I’ll be done with gaming 100%. Still might workout my prefrontal cortex with a little Brain Age 2, and drunken Fight Night Round 4 fights aren’t completely out of the question. But one thing is definitely for sure:
I’m done with The Legend of Zelda.