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Funny Quotes from Real Life

Beauts

Rock and roll will never die
Joined
Jun 15, 2012
Location
London, United Kingdom
I remember this conversation (aka rant) my friend was having about her dad and the amount of mugs and cups in their house and how there was too many and she tried to get rid of them. I don't remember the exact words but I remember it involved many f bombs and lots of crylaughing. If you're sensitive to foul language.... **** you (not really don't tell my mum) :)

Anyway it went something like this:

"I'm so ****ing sick of this house, there are thousands of ****ing mugs and cups everywhere because nobody ever ****ing washes up, they just get a ****ing new one and it drives me ****ing nuts. I tried to tell my dad to throw some ****ing cups away because they're taking over my life and sanity and he was like no they have sentimental value and I was like for **** sake dad, there are too many ****ing cups!!! We had like a two ****ing hour argument about the ****ing cups and then we didn't talk for a ****ing week I gave up and was like **** it but I'm not ****ing washing them up anymore, this is bull****. I went away to my boyfriends for the weekend and when I came back he was like oh hi I threw away loads of mugs and cups because there were too many everywhere and nobody ever washes them up they just get a new one. And I was like WHAT THE **** DAD I ****ING TOLD YOU AND YOU ****ING ARGUED WITH ME ALL DAY. And he was so ****ing nonchalant like oh no you didn't. I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO ****ING PISSED OFF IN MY LIFE. AND ALL BECAUSE OF SOME ****ING CUPS."
 

Pen

The game is on!
"I'm just like a dog. I see only gray and white. Not even black. I promise. I can't see skin colour either. You could all be from Africa. I couldn't tell the difference."
- One of my friends at the university.

"What if I was a flesh eating cannibal."
- A friend of mine from high school.
 

Link Floyd

ᵒⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ʳᵘⁿ
Joined
Sep 23, 2014
"I'm the Day Devil!" "More like....the Gay Devil!!!"
-two friends of mine making a scary movie when were 8 years old. Dug up the video tape earlier today. Made me die a little bit.
 
Dump of stupid things my sister said while playing Hyruke Warios with me tonight.

Gerbils without ears... That's like, imaginging Ghirahim without a tongue.
Fi's like Ming-Hua... Except she has airbending arms. Fing-Hua...
Volga has a dragon penis all the time.
That is NOT a candle. THAT IS A FLAMETHROWER.
NO, I DEFINITELY SAW SOMETHING. WHAT WAS THAT TINGLE THING?! WAS THAT A JACK-IN-THE-BOX?!
WHAT WAS IT? HIS DIAPER PAL? TELL ME!
How is Tingle inflating those balloons? Is he farting in them? He's putting them on his butt...
There's colorful confetti everywhere... TINGLE HAS RAINBOW POOPS.
Tingle says he's "not the violent type" but say that to his SILENT BUT VIOLENT farts!
 
showed my sister Kaiser and she was like saying he was the love child of Cedric and Phobos from W.I.T.C.H. And then I was like --AND KALUTIKA. and she was like idk who that is. and then i was like well they all haave their hair down to their knees

and then
"Not Phobos. His hair goes out the door. Phobos, Phobos, let down your hair. *snip snip*"
 

Kyru

WOAHHHH!
Joined
Jun 11, 2015
"Now, don't get lost in the sauce of the problem." -calc professor
 

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