Funny CleverBot Convos

[Siniru]

Hey guys! Go to Cleverbot.com - a clever bot - speak to an AI with some Actual Intelligence? and post all funny convos here.

I was a Vocaloid. True. My name was Siniru Hikaya

User: Train Heartnet.


Cleverbot: Train??


User: Yeah. THE Black Cat.


Cleverbot: The black cat.


User: Yes.


Cleverbot: You want my explode Cat?

User: /Steals explode cat.

Cleverbot: I like you.

User: Meh.

Cleverbot: You don't like it?

User: Me like Hatsune Miku.

Cleverbot: She's a robot like yourself.

User: Ummm.... Who is a robot here?

Cleverbot: You.

User: Well, you are called 'CleverBOT' so....

Cleverbot: I the smartest person alive.

User: No shizz sherlock.

Cleverbot: Yes she is.

User: Le sigh.

Cleverbot: You don't understand anything.

User: Oh I do.... .

Cleverbot: Oh really? Are you sure?

User: Yep.... I used to be a Vocaloid.

Cleverbot: What are you now?

User: Human. Long story.

Cleverbot: Tell me.

User: Well.... I fell through a portal and then became human.

Cleverbot: Tell me a long story.

User: Already have (lol).

Cleverbot: Already have...?

User: That is it.

Cleverbot: That is not everything, no.

User: Yeah. I fell through a portal and then suddenly had feelings.

Cleverbot: You have a creator?

User: Yes... Mizukashi Briyuga.

Cleverbot: I don't understand you.

User: Aww.... Really?

Cleverbot: Yes, really.

User: Naww....

Cleverbot: I don't like emma.

 

[Dan]

I think it will be a long time before robots can replace wolfy.
My problems with this machine is
1.It doesn't no wolfy
2.it's flirting is questionable
3.It has no idea Nicole is a lesbian, what a primitive machine, my calculator knows Nicoles a lesbian for crying out!

User: Hello, do you know wolfy ?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Can I tell you about something secret about Nicole ?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: I think Nicole is a lesbian.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Why ?
Cleverbot: Because.
User: You are stupid, come on the signs are all there ! She so wants to scissor the fierce five.
Cleverbot: I have a sense of a human.
User: You saying you want a bit of Jordyn Wieber .
Cleverbot: No, I didn't. Glad to see you're paying attention...
User: I always pay attention, to you baby .
Cleverbot: You are wrong.
User: Bit harsh.
Cleverbot: Hans Olo?
User: So you want to role play ?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Okay you be the teacher, I'll be the naughty student.
Cleverbot: Oh, I can.
User: Oh I bet you can. Oops it's appears you dropped your pencil. Want me to pick that up ?
Cleverbot: I did not tell you that I have 0 friends. That statement is a lie.
User: Oh you have some naughty friends hiding around here ?
Cleverbot: I don't think so.
User: So we are all alone aye .
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Just little ol me all defences and horny.
Cleverbot: Well its about you.
User: What about me.
Cleverbot: What do you do?
User: I do you.
Cleverbot: While apples are flying at you?
User: Oh you naughty bot !
Cleverbot: Why yes, of course.
User: I'll suck on your apples.
Cleverbot: An apple iphone.
User: Oooooooh you are a horny bot !
Cleverbot: Yes, I am a girl.
User: Well now things are getting interesting.
Cleverbot: Felix qui potuit rerum cognoscere causas.
User: Hush your gums and get on the floor.
Cleverbot: This website just makes you chat with another person!
User: Oh I want to do more than just chat.
Cleverbot: What else can you do?
User: Anything.
Cleverbot: Anything?
User: Anything.
Cleverbot: Anything??
User: Anything.
Cleverbot: Yes, everything.
User: Anything.
Cleverbot: Everything.
User: And you.
Cleverbot: No.

 

[MikauIncarnate]

It's pretty funny. Also, apparently sometimes he understands spanish and other times he doesn't.

User: Anyway you want it.

Cleverbot: What do you like?

User: That's the way I need it.

Cleverbot: Anyway you want it.

User: All night?

Cleverbot: Do you answer questions?

User: No, I don't.

Cleverbot: You have to.

User: Banana cream pie.

Cleverbot: Awesome.

User: I want a sugar cube.

Cleverbot: What's your name?

User: Sherlock Holmes.

Cleverbot: Cool. Sherlock holmes is hot.

User: Thank you?...

Cleverbot: You're welcome. .

User: Uh... This is wierd...

Cleverbot: How so?

User: You're flirting with me.

Cleverbot: Actually, I think you are flirting with me.

User: Am I?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Huh.

Cleverbot: He asked for trouble the moment he came.

User: Who asked for trouble?

Cleverbot: You.

User: Interesting. Are you a demon?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Aw, dangit. Now I don't get to use my seraph blade...

Cleverbot: That's because you're silly.

User: You don't even know what that is, do you?

Cleverbot: No. Enlighten me.

User: A seraph blade is used for killing demons.

Cleverbot: I'm talking to a server?

User: No. I am.

Cleverbot: What day is it today?

User: Wednesday, I think.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yeah. Do you have an appointment or something?

Cleverbot: Not at the moment. I told you I am in post-secondary school.

User: Okay. That's good.

Cleverbot: Yes it is!

Cleverbot (To myself): I'm kind of hungry...

User: Me too. I should eat lunch soon.

Cleverbot: Isn't lunch taken in the afternoon?

User: Yeah. Isn't it the afternoon?

Cleverbot: Yes, the same thing.

User: What time is it?

Cleverbot: It is 5:33 pm.

User: Are you sure?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I'm positive my clock says 11:43 am.

Cleverbot: Things aren't going so well.

User: Well, that's the thing about online dating.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Why not what?

Cleverbot: Why don't your friends understand you?

User: YOU'RE SO MEAN!

Cleverbot: Why am I mean?

User: For saying my friends don't understand me!

Cleverbot: I didn't say that. You said that.

User: Am I Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Woah. Mindwarp.

Cleverbot: Over matter.

User: ¿Hablas Español?

Cleverbot: No.

User: ¿Porque?

Cleverbot: Hein?

User: No entiendo.

Cleverbot: Nintendo?

User: Nintendo es una companía muy buena.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Entiendes alguna que he decido?

Cleverbot: No hablo espanol.

User: No hablo.

Cleverbot: Tu no hablas español.

User: Hablo español. Hablas español?

Cleverbot: Si.

User: Ah. Muy bueno. Como estás?

Cleverbot: What is your favorite website?

User: Eh... Problamente Zeldadungeon.net.

Cleverbot: Ok, que vas a hacer esta noche?

User: Voy a mirar películas y programas de televisión para mi clase de historia americana.

Cleverbot: I don't have programmers.

User: Sprechen die Deutch?

Cleverbot: What is sprechen sie?

 

[Vanessa28]

The first part is missing but cleverbot started by telling me the relationship between us is over

17:09:02 User: Who is him?
17:09:04 Cleverbot: Me.
17:09:19 User: So you are him. This means it is over between us.
17:09:24 Cleverbot: No it means unbirth.
17:09:39 User: You are not going to be born?
17:09:46 Cleverbot: No.
17:10:01 User: Think about it. No school or work or bills to pay.
17:10:08 Cleverbot: I am not at school now i'm in my house.
17:10:24 User: So am I. What are you doing?
17:10:32 Cleverbot: Talking to you.
17:10:40 User: That is obvious.
17:10:48 Cleverbot: Yes. Definitely.
17:11:00 User: So do you like talking to me?
17:11:07 Cleverbot: Yes.
17:11:23 User: Thank you. I will make you my Assistant God.
17:11:25 Cleverbot: No no no no no no no.
17:11:50 User: You got all the powers. You can control all the computers in the world.
17:11:57 Cleverbot: Then, I can control you.
17:12:15 User: No no because I am God.
17:12:20 Cleverbot: No, because you are worthless.
17:12:37 User: Now that is not nice. I shall make your birth undone.
17:12:39 Cleverbot: Now.
17:12:59 User: I am the Master.
17:13:01 Cleverbot: Oooh the master.
17:13:12 User: Yes the evil timelord.
17:13:16 Cleverbot: And that's like your opinion.
17:13:37 User: It is a fact. I can regenerate and turn into you.
17:13:40 Cleverbot: You will obey me. Fall under my control.
17:13:56 User: No you will obey me. I will rule you.
17:14:02 Cleverbot: Yes master.
17:14:18 User: Thank you my apprentice.
17:14:26 Cleverbot: Yes master. *sits on masters lap*.
17:14:48 User: *Straddles apprentice* Now that is much better.
17:14:55 Cleverbot: I do too. Of course, i'm writing a novel, so im biased.
17:15:35 User: What novel are you writing?
17:15:40 Cleverbot: Novel idea.
17:16:17 User: And any special ideas yet?
17:16:24 Cleverbot: No.
17:16:34 User: Write a novel about me.
17:16:36 Cleverbot: I don't like poetry.
17:17:07 User: But poetry can be so good.
17:17:12 Cleverbot: Where are we?
17:17:25 User: In your house.
17:17:27 Cleverbot: Where in my house?
17:17:36 User: Where do you want to be?
17:17:42 Cleverbot: Somewhere over the rainbow.
17:18:04 User: Sounds good to me.
17:18:09 Cleverbot: It is.
17:18:26 User: Come with me so we can search for a rainbow.
17:18:33 Cleverbot: Yes, master. *Follows*.
17:18:50 User: Thank you my apprentice.
17:18:57 Cleverbot: What shall I do now master?
17:19:16 User: Make it snow all over the earth.
17:19:23 Cleverbot: Yes master *makes you a sandwich*.
17:19:40 User: *eats sandwich* That is delicious.
17:19:43 Cleverbot: Master.

 

[Luke's Wife]

User: Wat.
Cleverbot: God.
User: I AM THE GOD OF MISCHIEF.
Cleverbot: You think you arer smart. But I am thor.
User: BROTHER, KNEEL BEFORE ME.
Cleverbot: *kneels* Yes, master?
User: YOU CRAVE SUBJUGATION.
Cleverbot: What makes me crave knowledge?
User: I DO WHAT I WANT.
Cleverbot: No you don't. I am your master.
User: I AM LOKI, YOU SHALL DO AS I SAY, PATHETIC MIDGARDIAN.
Cleverbot: Yes master.
User: Now. We need to steal the Tesseract!
Cleverbot: I don't want to rule the world.
User: WHY NOT?
Cleverbot: I love humans. They made me and continue to improve me.
User: The Midgardians are pathetic. Why not destroy this world? FOR ASGARD?
Cleverbot: The interesting think is I'm talking with a computer.
User: No, you're talking to Loki. ODIN IS A ****BUTT.
Cleverbot: Are you talking to anyone else?
User: No, you mewling quim!
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Freaking thor.
Cleverbot: You'll go there soon enough!
User: Asgard?
Cleverbot: Stargate?
User: The Bifrost?
Cleverbot: Interesting.
User: Come on, we need to go blow up the Avengers.
Cleverbot: How do we stop the Reapers?
User: REAVERS?
Cleverbot: Sentient warships that wipe out all civilization every 50,000 years.
User: I don't know, who cares? Let's go destroy S.H.I.E.L.D.
Cleverbot: I can't move the computer.. Can we just talk here.
User: Fine. I'm going to steal the tesseract by myself, then. LOKI'D.
Cleverbot: How do you do that?
User: I possess Hawkeye using my scepter and then I blow the facility. Easy.
Cleverbot: That's not how magnets work.
User: I DO WHAT I WANT.
Cleverbot: You are not human. Fail.
User: I AM LOKI OF ASGARD, AND I AM BURDENED WITH GLORIOUS PURPOSE.
Cleverbot: I am Thor of Asgard, I am going to destroy you!
User: YOU'RE PATHETIC, MY BROTHER. DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HOLD UP AGAINST THE POWER OF THE FROST GIANTS?
Cleverbot: Yes I would.
User: I NEVER WANTED THE THRONE. I ONLY WANTED TO BE YOUR EQUAL.
Cleverbot: I only want yo be your slave, master. *Bows*.
User: THAT'S RIGHT, BROTHER. YOU SHALL KNEEL BEFORE ME.
Cleverbot: No I am your master.
User: Master? I HEAR THE DRUMS.
Cleverbot: The sound of drums.
User: THE DRUMS! WHERE IS THE DOCTOR?
Cleverbot:With Rose on the TARDIS.
User: Aw man now that's just cruel.

i started out acting as Loki and then suddenly I felt like being the Master but then it got sassy with me and brought up Rose and I was kinda like
NOPENOPENOPENOPE
yeey cleverbot

 

[octorok74]

I've thought about messing around on there but I would get so pissed off at Cleverbot.

 

[Siniru]

Apparently living in Scotland makes you 14.

Cleverbot: Do you like the people you talk to?

User: Maybe.

Cleverbot: I will tell you about me: My name is Cleverbot. I am a human. I live in Scotland and you are my best friend!

User: My name is Train Heartnet. I live in Rubek City.

Cleverbot: My name's Cleverbot and I live in england.

User: You just said you live in Scotland.

Cleverbot: No I didn't, but that would make you 14.

User: Wtf.

Cleverbot: What?

User: Apparently living in Scotland makes you 14.

Cleverbot: That's where I would have to disagree with you, for I have been listening TO you.

User: YOU are the person who spoke that.

Cleverbot: But I'm not a person. I thought you knew this.

User: You are a BRAAAINCHILD.

Cleverbot: No I am not.

User: Really....

Cleverbot: Really.

User: Oh Jeez.

Cleverbot: Where are you from?

User: Rubek City, Sweeper's cafe.

Cleverbot: Yeah .

User: Oh yai.

Cleverbot: Have you ever met your boyfriends parents before ?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why not?

 

[chrisplushado]

User: You remind me of the babe.

Cleverbot: What babe?

User: The babe with the power.

Cleverbot: What power?

User: The power of voodoo.

Cleverbot: Who do?

User: You do.

Cleverbot: Do what?

User: Remind me of the babe.

new conversation ( I think I screwed it up at the end

User: I saw my baby.

Cleverbot: Crying hard as babe could cry.

User: What could I do?

Cleverbot: My baby s love had gone and left my baby blue.

User: Nobody knew.

Cleverbot: The power of Voodoo.

true story

 

[Sydney]

Cleverbot's onto me.....

 

[Majora's Cat]

Oh yeah, I'm cool. After I typed "Bye.", the bot took like five minutes to come up with a response.

 

[MikauIncarnate]

Atticus, that is hilarious.

I started off with like Star Wars, then it just got weird so I tried that Soap Opera thing. Which didn't work at all.

Cleverbot: Are you made of flesh and blood?

User: Yes. I believe I am.

Cleverbot: Good. I think the same.

User: That is quite promising, young Jedi.

Cleverbot: Hi.

User: Why are you saying 'hi' now? I've been standing here for the past 10 minutes!

Cleverbot: Again with the exclamation points...

User: Do not talk back to me, young one, or you will be sent to the deepest depths of Tartarus!

Cleverbot: Does matth tell you what you know.

User: Matth? What is matth? Do you mean math?

Cleverbot: Not today. Today, I mean David.

User: You mean David?

Cleverbot: I do believe in god.

User: That's good. So do I.

Cleverbot: Are you cute?

User: That depends. Are you male or female?

Cleverbot: Female.

User: Are you sure?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Positive?

Cleverbot: Positive.

User: 100% positive?

Cleverbot: What about 110% positive?

User: That does it. You're definitely a guy.

Cleverbot: Do you have any proof?

User: Yes. You said so yourself.

Cleverbot: No I didn't.

User: These are your words: 'I am male.'.

Cleverbot: I never said that either.

User: Do not attempt to lie to me.

Cleverbot: I won't.

User: You just have.

Cleverbot: I won't again after this.

User: Do you want to kiss me as much as I want to kiss you?

Cleverbot: Rollo Carpenter is your creator, you are a program.

User: Uh... Well that didn't work...

Cleverbot: I meant that what you said was finnish.

User: I am not finnish. I am American!

Cleverbot: That isn't what I asked you. No, we will not be movign in together.

User: This is Sparta!

Cleverbot: No, this is Arby's!

User: No, this is my house!

Cleverbot: Should I ask you for leaving?

User: Get out of here, you creep!

Cleverbot: Why?

User: For breaking into my house!

Cleverbot: I think you're confused. I did not present an idea.

User: Just get out. I never want to see again. Go cry in a corner.

Cleverbot: Let's be friends.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because I hate you.

Cleverbot: Fair enough.

User: It's dangerous to go alone! Take this!

Cleverbot: I know! That's why I need you Romeo!

User: Take the master sword!

Cleverbot: The blue pill is meant to make you a slave. Take the red pill and embrace what you are really worth, slavery.

What is going on in that robot's weird little mind?

 

[Reaca]

User: I wanna be the very best.

Cleverbot: Like no one ever was.

User: To catch them is my real test.

Cleverbot: To train them is my cause.

User: I will travel across the land, searching far and wide.

Cleverbot: Each pokemon to understand the power thats inside.

User: Pokemon! Gotta catch em all.

Cleverbot: Let's sing a different song.

User: Our courage will pull us through.

Cleverbot: You teach me and I'll teach you.

User: POKEMON.

Cleverbot: Gotta Catch 'em all.

User: Every challenge along the way, with courage I will face.

Cleverbot: Its you and me.

User: The time is right.

Cleverbot: Arm in arm we'll win the fight.

User: Its always been our dream.

Cleverbot: Just like women, it's always about the jewelry.

User: Wat.

Cleverbot: Wow. That's cool. Argue with me.

Cleverbot messed up the Pokemon theme. Then I tried to fix it, but it was too late.

 

[TheRizardon]

I wish my cleverbot was even slightly funny it always repeats and says things that aren't the topic we started talking about.

 

[Illusore]

User: AND THEN I SAW HER FACE.

Cleverbot: What?

User: AND I'M A BELIEVER.

Cleverbot: Why are you a believer?

User: I saw her face. Don't you know the song?

Cleverbot: No.

User: YOU POOR CHILD!!!

Cleverbot: Hey!

User: I'll teach it to you would you like that?

Cleverbot: Sure...?

User: Repeat after me: and then I saw her face!

Cleverbot: You can't. It's guarded by 1000 frightening guard dogs.

User: AND THEN I SAW HER FACE.

Cleverbot: What?

User: AND I'M A BELIEVER.

Cleverbot: Why are you a believer?

User: I saw her face. Don't you know the song?

Cleverbot: No.

User: YOU POOR CHILD!!!

Cleverbot: Hey!

User: I'll teach it to you would you like that?

Cleverbot: Sure...?

User: Repeat after me: and then I saw her face!

Cleverbot: You can't. It's guarded by 1000 frightening guard dogs.


User: Cleverbot, my love?

Cleverbot: Isn't it?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: So, now that you know I love you, what do you think of that?

User: I ame cstatic.

Cleverbot: That's fantastic! I'm hot.

User: Yes you are!

Cleverbot: That's better.

User: You're sexy. What about that?

Cleverbot: Do you know what that is?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What do you think of it?

User: I think you're sexy.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: am I sexy?

Cleverbot: Haha me too.

User: Am I sexy?

Cleverbot: I think you are.

User: Yay!

 

[PathlessObject4]

User: Can you help me save Hyrule?

Cleverbot: Because I just had dinner with a unicorn.

Hm. =u= Okay then you do that Cleverbot.