Daily Debate: How Long Would Zelda Characters Last In A Horror Film?
Posted on October 31 2019 by David Nystrom
Halloween is a time for snuggling in with some popcorn and candy, a few good friends, and watching people make terrible mistakes leading to their demise. I’m talking about watching scary movies where the characters almost always do the wrong thing at the wrong time, and the big bad guy catches and kills them in some grizzly fashion. But what if there were a bunch of Zelda characters in that scenario? How do you think they’d fare?
Now for this debate, let’s leave the big three (Link, Zelda and Ganon/Ganondorf) out. Also, forget anybody considered supremely powerful like awakened Sages, dragon deities, and spiritual beings. The rest of the cast can fight in the crab-bucket to find a way out though! I’ll toss a few names out to get the conversation started, but this is open season on your favorite (or most hated) characters!
First up is Tingle! I’m pretty sure he’s a prologue death or the last-man-standing sort of guy. With his magic words, clever business sense, and dashing attire, he may have a few tricks up his sleeve to evade death. However, he could just be a bumbling 35-year-old man in a fairy suit trying to sell maps to a homicidal maniac and get ripped in half for getting in the way.
Ralph from Oracle of Ages is another good potential candidate. He’s a swordsman, so naturally he may try to fight. This skill would undoubtedly keep him alive into the second act, but could also be his undoing. To save his beloved Nayru, he could try to play Mr. Hero just a bit too much, and find out the hard way that hiding in the closet wasn’t such a bad idea.
Lastly, I’ll toss out Ilia, since I think she’s so polarizing. Ilia has to be final-girl material. She’s shown resilience, having survived being kidnapped and suffering from amnesia. She’s also shown selflessness in helping the Zora prince get back to health. Unlike Ralph’s courage, her compassion keeps her out of harms way for the most part. But that compassion also makes her a moral center amid the death and destruction surrounding her.
Those are just a couple examples and thoughts from me. But what do you think? How long would some other classic Zelda characters last with a traditional horror baddie hunting them down? Let us know in the comments below, or discuss it over in our Discord!
David is an editor at Zelda Dungeon. He’s the author of the ongoing series, The Era Without A Hero, and his favorite Zelda games are Ocarina of Time, The Wind Waker, and Skyward Sword. He’s also generally a fan of JRPGs and other major Nintendo titles, such as Smash Bros. and Mario.
