GamesRadar: “7 Most Disturbing Things about Zelda”

LukeSaturnApril 25th, 2013 by LukeSaturn

Suni The Legend of Zelda games are so universally lovable that its oddities and morbid pitfalls can be overlooked. But the strangeness of the Zelda games are what make them so unique, despite how crazy parts of them may be. Its impressive mythology along with its unintentional creepiness help transport you to a separate world of equal parts wonder and peril. Most people love these aspects of the games, I being one of them, and wouldn’t dare to normalize the franchise. However, analyzing these peculiarities can be quite humorous and helps draw your attention to quirky things that wouldn’t normally stand out. The most recent of these efforts comes from the website GamesRadar.

They have compiled a list of the seven things they find most disturbing about the world of Zelda. The list seems to double as a comical piece and an insight into the strangeness of the franchise and the Zelda mythology. Despite the humor used, the list has some good points such as when they discuss the major faults of the Triforce, which they rank at number one, and when they point out the messed up climate of Hyrule overall. I have to agree with both of them strongly, especially the former. But the comedic quality still shines through well such as with numbers four and five.

It’s definitely worth reading. View it here.

Source: GamesRadar

Categorized under: Fan Material
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  • Spirit Tracker

    Wow… Ganondorf should be glad he was sent to the Twilight Realm.

  • VikzeLink

    About the climate thingie…. Just look at New Zealand, they have a VERY varying land when it comes to different types of climates

    • Link

      So does New England. It was 40 degrees here yesterday, cold and windy. Today it’s 75 and the sky is blue and the trees are budding.

      • Anonymous

        Try Utah. Late Spring, visiting Grandma, going to a movie theater. Before the movie: no blue in the sky, falling snow reaching up to an inch in diameter, over a foot and a half of snow on the ground. After the movie, Not a cloud in the sky, sunny, completely dry (no puddles of water or even evidence of puddles of water)!

        • Lawrence Edward Shelven

          Lol. Cleveland, Ohio’s got you guys beat with the four seasons occurring in two days.

          • GSusanj

            Try Saint Louis Mo, we get snow and a 90 degrees in the same week. Next week a tornado. (kidding about the tornado, that was actually 3 weeks later)

          • Midna’s Sister

            The old’ mitten~ don’t like the weather, wait five minutes. Oxo

        • meta meta knight

          Jaxsonville Florida cold at the begining of the week and warm at the end of the week or right now.

  • Linkiscool

    I would mention that the entire land is eternally bound in a never ending cycle of evil by the curse of Demise. Causing a super powerful evil dictator to rise up every once in a while to destroy everything.

  • RubyDragonCat

    Pieces of heart are magic items, not real hearts lol…

    • Ordona

      I think you may have missed the satire…

  • Blackbaldrik

    It seems that the writer of the article is either exaggerating for the sake of comedy, or doesn’t know a great deal about the series. (Or both)

    Over all, it was a good, entertaining read. It made me laugh. But a couple points annoyed me due to mild inaccuracy.

  • Ordona

    This got a good laugh out of me. “Almost every element of Hyrule’s ecosystem is a pathological murderer. You can’t even trust the bushes.” It’s funny how many things in a game you just don’t question.

    • Midna’s Sister

      That’s true o____o

  • Personthatlivesinthisworld

    My most disturbing moment in Zelda for me was when, in TP, that cutscene with Dark Link and Ilia…I had nightmares for like, a week…….I still get creeped out…

  • Julian Delarosa

    The way I see it, a lot of these can be explained by 1 word: Magic

  • nignacio

    In Hyrule, you can either drink water that passed under King Zora’s… thing, drink water that came from a well filled with the most horrible and creepy creatures you can imagine, or die of dehydration.

    • LinkyKins

      And that’s why they invented the water filter!

    • Midna’s Sister

      ……I’ll take the haunted water, thanks. It sounds healthier. I’ll boil it first. -3-

      • Never

        So you’d rather have water that’s been saturated by a rotting corpse?!
        Me too.

        • Midna’s Sister

          Murr, there is fire and a pot for a reason. O.o on second thought, maybe the Zora water. I’ll just to up to the fountain and fetch it myself.

  • tanya smithhh

    this is the website that i found the work at home job at. work66 com. $25.50 hourly. no experience necessary

    • wafflegoat

      And what lovely viruses come with that?

  • Hyrule’s Hero

    The most disturbing thing about Zelda, The Great Fairy and Wallmasters. The Great Fairy is so disturbingly ugly. The first time I played Ocarina of Time, I was in the Forest Temple and a Wallmaster grabbed me. The volume was at full blast, I was playing in the dark, I screamed man, I screamed like a little girl. I looked behind me, ABOVE ME, to see if there was a Wallmaster in my room. God, that was scary. Still, not as scary as the Great Fairy though.

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  • oozy the wolf

    i love how weird the zelda series is

  • Emmy Melton

    Single most disturbing thing in all of Zelda: Ooccoo.
    First, a chicken-like animal with a HUMAN HEAD pops out a pot, then insists on STALKING YOU. Whe she offers to help, she gives birth through her head to produce another, FLOATING head with BATS WINGS for ears that then magics you out of the dungeon.
    What the heck just happened.

    • Link Fanatic

      I always avoid getting Ooccoo until she practically FORCES me to take her. One good thing out of her? The look on Link’s face when he first gets her. Priceless!

  • Shadsie

    It’s funny… I laughed a lot at the implications about killer animals and plants and the “disembodied human hearts everywhere!” portions. I’ve been working hard to come up with “theology of the Triforce” in my fanfictions, myself. I disagree with their Number 3, though… the varied climates. That can actually happen if there are significant elevation differences in a given area. (I grew up in Arizona… a 3-4 hour drive across the state brought one from low desert to heavily forested, almost alpine conditions with dramatic changes in temperature). I think if Hyrule’s topagraphy is in any way like the real world, it’s a dramatic mountanous environment with a lot of peaks and valleys.

  • Justac00lguy

    For me it’s always been the small cut scene in Twilight Princess that shows Link drowning in lava.

    The game seems to focus the camera on the painful death that Link gos through as we painfully watch him burn within the depths of lava. Drowning in lava, in reality, is probably one of the most painful deaths that can occur to a person and to see this emphasised in a Zelda game was disturbing, given the usual light hearted tone. It’s the fact that Link struggles and screams as well just making it hit home about the pain he is going through, very disturbing in my opinion.

  • Lupine Hero

    My theory on the environment: the distance between the realms is much larger than represented in the game; they just reduced the in-game distance to avoid pointless addition to travel time.

  • Naga

    I don’t exactly agree with the theoretically false assumption of the kokiri that they will die outside kokiri. Even though they probably won’t just drop dead or anything as soon as they leave kokiri, they’re as good as dead anyway, given going to hyrule field will get them killed by a stalfos at night. And I really don’t think it’s racism separating the different “races” all the time. They are more like separate species. Except for four limbs in the same places and standing straight up, they really don’t resemble each other

  • Link Fanatic

    Dude, this makes Ocarina of Time so much darker.
    But it still made me laugh, oddly enough…

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